Guys, it’s Taylor Swift’s 23rd birthday today (happy birthday, bb!), and that got us thinking: Sometimes, the best gifts are the most thoughtful gifts, amirite? It’s like, maybe we don’t need to get Taylor this stunning Cartier Love Bracelet, because $5K is like chump change when you’re one of the most paid chicks in the business. But instead, we’ll just craft an extremely comprehensive list of bizarre cat-themed gifts and then proceed to get her EVERYTHING ON THAT LIST! Because remember how Taylor is obsessed with her cat Meredith? Of course you do! So what better way to honor the start of Taylor’s precious 23rd year on this earth than by giving her a well-curated collection of cat-related things? Also, Taylor, try not to flip out when you see the cat-themed toilet seat. Honestly, you’re SO welcome.
1. This inflatable unicorn horn for cats.
Photo via: Amazon
We’re all very acquainted with Taylor’s cat Meredith, and we’re also very well acquainted with Taylor’s love for playing dress-up, so an item that enables Taylor to play dress-up with her cat? Need we say more? Best Taylor gift of life.
2. This Cat DJ deck.
Photo via: FredFlare
If there’s a better way of combining Taylor’s love of music with her love of cats, we cannot find it! Because have you ever seen anything more perfect for Taylor and Meredith than a turntable made for a cat? This product is ahead of its time.
3. This bar of soap that smells like cat food.
Photo via: Archie McPhee
True cat lovers (like Taylor) don’t actually mind smelling like cat food all day, which is why this cat food-scented bar of soap is the perfect addition to what we’re assuming is Taylor’s already floral-scented bathroom. We wouldn’t necessarily recommend that Taylor use this in the shower before, say, doing the “Dirty Dancing” lift with Harry Styles, but she should feel free to use it any and all other times!
4. These amazing cat heels.
Photo via: Jeffrey Campbell
We’re not sure there’s anything more perfect for a hip, young, fashionable cat lover (no, that’s not an oxymoron) than superhigh heels with embroidered cats all over them. Taylor already has several pairs of cat flats, and we reckon it’s about time she add a giant chunky heel to her ever-growing collection of cat-themed footwear.
Check out more cat-related gifts for Taylor Swift after the jump!
5. This adorable cat dress.
Photo via: ROMWE
What goes perfectly with cat heels, you ask? A cat dress! Doy! And if there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that Taylor Swift loves dresses, so why not throw a cat on one and make it the most quintessentially Taylor Swift item of clothing ever created?
6. This delicious cat-shaped pasta.
Photo via: Hobbyhillfarm
If Taylor’s gonna carbo load, she might as well do it with cat-shaped pasta, right? Because don’t the cute cat shapes somehow make the carbs less upsetting? Whatever, Taylor’s the last person who should be GAF about carbs, so we advise her to enjoy this cat pasta simply because YOLO!
7. This “Cats Riding Motorcycles”-themed toilet seat and cover.
Photo via: Etsystatic
Do yourself a favor and look very closely at this toilet set cover because what you’ll find is an array of stunning, helmeted cats riding into the fiery night on the back of giant motorcycles. Because isn’t the only thing better than a toilet seat with regular cats on it a toilet seat with cats riding motorcycles on it? Also, how happy are we that we live in a world where seeing this tableau every time you go to the bathroom is actually an option? LIFE!
8. These cat-shaped cookie cutters.
Photo via: Coppergifts
When she’s not off selling 2 million records, Taylor Swift loves to bake. So these cat-shaped copper cookie cutters seem like the most practical cat-themed gift on this entire list! We’re gluten-free, though, Tay, in case you want to bake us a thank-you batch, or whatever.
9. This cat-centric wallpaper.
Photo via: Catsparella
Sure, this cat wallpaper may be a bit much for the main rooms of Taylor’s palace, but a cat-themed bathroom never hurt anyone, right? Especially when you live in a mansion that probably has 26 bathrooms, devoting one to cats seems like an obvious decor choice. Also, Taylor’s an interior decorator at heart, so she could totally pull off this purr-fect wallpaper.
10. These luxurious cat pillow cases.
Photo via: Garudiostudiage
There’s nothing better than the sound of purring cats to lull you to sleep (I’m a crazy cat lady but so is Taylor Swift, so STEP BACK), but if you don’t have a feline handy, then these cat-stenciled pillow cases are the next best option.
11. This absolutely stunning cat-shaped rhinestone clutch.
Photo via: Bergdorf Goodman
Who needs a purse when you can carry a RHINESTONE CAT CLUTCH by Judith Leiber, who’s obviously a genius? Because putting your iPhone, lipstick, and credit card in a bedazzled cat is SOOOOO much better than putting it in an actual purse. Except that this cat clutch is $4,995.00, so you really won’t have any money left to put into it. (Unless you’re Taylor Swift.)
12. This Christmas tree made of cats.
Photo via: Bradfordexchange
The reason(s) why we fell in love with this Christmas tree made of cats are pretty self-explanatory, but in case they’re not: IT’S A CHRISTMAS TREE, AND IT’S MADE OF CATS! Cats on cats on cats piled sky-high with the highest cat wearing a pair of angel wings. Because Taylor Swift knows all cats are angels.
13. This classic internet joke shirt.
Photo via: Wanelo
What’s a comprehensive cat-themed gift list without at least one piece of apparel emblazoned with classic internet-joke-turned-cat-joke?
So there you have it, ladies and gents! The weirdest, most whacked out cat-themed gifts that we think you should get Taylor Swift for her 23rd birthday! And all her other birthdays after that. Or until you can afford Cartier.