One day, the God of pop in heaven above looked at the world which She’d created and saw that it was good. Yet it was not enough. It needed something… more. So God put on a mesh bodysuit and a porkpie hat and borrowed a live snake from Eden and created an almighty pop goddess in Her own image. She cradled Her in her powerful hands, taught Her to gyrate, showed Her how to flip Her flaxen blonde hair, and sent Her to live among the mortal, unwashed, deprived humans, who looked like grasshoppers next to the awesome, unknowable, almighty Spearit. She went by the blessed name of Britney Jean Spears, and in Her, the holy Spearit lived, and danced, and flipped Her hair. And She benevolently gave Her worshipful flock more than 30 videos, more than one for every year of Her immortality. And lo, Her Stans agreed that they were lucky, and without judgment they made themselves slaves unto the Holy One, Blessed Be She, for She was righteous and steadfast, and they wished their Godney the happiest 31st birthday ever. And they surrendered themselves unto Her. And it was good. Amen. — The Book Of Spearits 12:2
+ Celebrate Britney Spears’ 31st birthday with the ultimate Britney SUPER GIF exp-SPEAR-ience.