Credit: Getty Images
Thanks to America, the internet and a charity website, you can now purchase Justin Bieber's date to the 2011 VMAs: his snake named Johnson. He's warm, cuddly and flesh-colored! You need to buy this thing for the jokes alone, people. THE JOKES!
Charitybuzz is selling the baby boa constrictor to the public, eBay style -- bidders will name the final price of lil' Johnson. The boa currently stands at $175 while his estimated value is approximately $1,000. You only have 20 days left on this thing so hop to it, guys! Besides owning a piece of Justin Bieber pop culture history, all the proceeds will benefit Pencils of Promise, a nonprofit that builds schools and increases educational opportunities in the developing world. Snakes and charities -- such a heartwarming combo.
But be careful: Buying Justin Bieber's Johnson isn't like winning some free goldfish or something. Snakes require a lot of TLC. Even the website warns, "Before making any decision about keeping [a snake] please ensure you have the money, space, knowledge, time, resources and enthusiasm required to properly care for the species you intend to keep, for the duration of it's life." Enthusiasm, y'all. Do you have it?
In sum, WTF. Also, OMFG. Fin.