OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG so you know how you're just sitting at your desk on a Friday, probably nursing some sort of pounding headache/cottonmouth situation from whatever dumb thing you did last night because your best friend somehow made you believe that "Thursday is the new Friday," and you're staring out the window watching cruise ships glide down the Hudson and undoubtedly off to some balmy locale that only serves drinks with little plastic monkeys hanging off the sides and they're only named with words that make verbs out of weather-related adjectivesala "Raspberry Breezer," "Watermelon Cooler," "Mango Cherry Chiller"? But anyway, who am i kidding? My window stares into random hotel rooms at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square and my best shot at excitement on a Friday is hoping someone is watching VH1 in their hotel room and praying that they just happen to be airing a marathon of "I Love The '90's". Wait. Woah. Did I just inject WAY too much of myself into this Britney update?
THISISNOTTHEPOINTPEOPLE! The POINT is, you're having a boring, ordinary, "I-don't-wanna-work-today" kind of Friday and then along comes a little morsel of a news item! A GEM just glistening among all the emails and pop-up dancing mortgage lady ads! And that news is...
Britney Spears' record label just confirmed that her next single is NOT "Big Fat Bass" as previously rumored, but instead it's the UBER-catchy "I Wanna Go" This is the stuff pop dreams are made of and a complete throwback to Britney's earlier hits like "Lucky" and "(You Drive Me) Crazy." I'm talking PURE. POP. BLISS; the kind that can only come from a pop factory that churns out hit after hit, ruled by a Swedish Willy Wonka a.k.a Max Martin.
Can you just IMAGINE what the video is going to look like? It's been confirmed that Chris Marrs Piliero is on board to direct. He's the same guy who directed Ke$ha's "Blow" video (starring ultra-hunk James Van Der Beek) and who also directed The Black Keys' "Tighten Up" (which consequently won the 2010 MTV VMA for Breakthrough Video). Chris told MTV News that he likes violence -- if you've seen either of the two videos I just mentioned, you'll know what I mean. So I'm VERY INTRIGUED to see what he'll have up his sleeve for my Brit girl, since she's already been down the ass-kicking path in "Hold It Against Me" -- whose high-heeled fight scene spawned one of my favorite Twitter hashtags of all time (#clickclickclick).
Okay. Now pick up your Justin Bieber inhaler if you're still out of breath, take a puff, and enjoy the TORTUROUS wait for her "I Wanna Go" video. I wanna go there RIGHT. NOW.