PHOTO: Adam Lambert Has A Goatee (Holy S***!)

Credit: Getty Images

*Rubs eyes*

*Stares*

*Rubs eyes again*

Um, so this is happening: Adam Lambert has grown a goatee? And it looks... huh??? This is a very, very rare sartorial misstep for "Glambert," as he has been called for "coming out of the gate" -- as Randy Jackson surely put it at one time or another on "American Idol" -- a sort of sexual unicorn prince, all big hair, platform boots and black eyeliner (oh, and killer pipes, too). And even if he hadn't looked like the lovechild of Lady Gaga and Steven Tyler, his voice, alone, could pierce your TV screen in two.

But wha' happened? Dude showed up at opening night of the new Broadway musical Sister Act sporting a beard that seems really out of bounds for a dude who has -- until now -- wowed his fans with a sort of goth-goes-motocross vibe that matches his equally flamboyant Scissor Sisters-meets-Judas Priest sound. But all of a sudden, there's this weird patch of hair on his chin that makes 100 percent no sense whatsoever. Maybe he, like, lost a bet or something? Whaddawe want from you, Adam? Maybe your old face back!!?

Oh, actually, you know what? Although the subject in the photo is listed as "Adam Lambert," we're just going to pretend it's Siegfried. Or Roy. Yeah, it's one of them. There we go. That feels better. FETCH THE TIGERS! Adam! ARE YOU UNDER THERE? UNDER THAT BEARD SOMEWHERE?