An Open Letter To Beyonce Regarding LOOKING THIS GOOD

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Beyoncé,

Like seriously. SERIOUSLY? Do you ever have a bad hair day? Or a bad dress day? Or a pimple? Or chipped toenail polish? Because according to our extensive records, the answer is "No."

We saw you and your hubby, Jay-Z, just casually walking around the Champs-Élysées in France all like, "Oh, don't mind us, we're just your average, everyday couple," what, with your sunglasses and your to-die-for snakeskin bag, and your new blonde hair that shouldn't look good on you but does anyway because you're effing BEYONCÉ. We GET it, B -- you're perfect! Most definitely a Girl (Who Runs The World). But can you do us other ladies a solid and save some swag for the rest of us?

For example, if you know you're going to be shot by the paparazzi next time you leave your hotel, which will happen because you're Beyoncé, could you do us gals a favor and maybe like, keep a little lipstick on your front tooth? Or just skip the iron the next time you wear a button-down? Or maybe you can wear flats on your trip to the Louvre. Or, and this is only if you're really feeling generous, wear sweatpants!!!!!! It may not seem like much to you, but a photo of the Queen B wearing sweatpants in public would do leaps and bounds for the self-esteem of us non-famous, non-ex-Destiny's Children around the world. Though I guess that'd be like asking God to stop... God-ing. It's just impossible. Perfection is part of your job description and your birthright.

Anyway. Thank you for your consideration, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Every girl not named Beyoncé