You may have heard that former 98 Degrees singer Jeff Timmons is joining the Chippendales. And, if that were the case, we'd be fist-pumping the air in delight, considering Jeff was always our favorite, even when everyone was all, like, OMG NIIIIICK! C'mon, Nick was (and is) pleasing to the eyes, but we were always on Team Jeff. His smile could light up a room, especially if that room was ours. Light up our room, Jeff, PLEEZ!!!!!1!!!1!
Bad news: Timmons will not be dropping trau. As it turns out, Jeff will only be a guest performer and emcee at the Chippendales shows in Las Vegas, telling Celebuzz that the Chippendales don't go full monty. (Monty means crotch, by the way). "They do musical numbers [now]," he said. "I was asked to come in and, not dance with the guys cause I can't hold a candle to those guys as professional dancers, but to come in and MC the show basically. I sing a couple older numbers and some of my new stuff, and get some new fans acclimated with my new music. It sounds like a fun thing to do."
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. We get it: 98 Degrees is no more. Drew moved onto "Dancing With The Stars." Nick married Jessica Simpson, then got engaged to Vanessa Minnillo and now he hosts "The Sing-Off." Meanwhile, the other guy is now really good at Angry Birds. We're glad your career is still in tact and that you're remaining proactive in reaching out to all your fans, but let's get real here: You're still SUPER HAWT, to put it lightly. You're going to Vegas. You're joining the Chippendales. To keep it brief, TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT, BRO. If you really want to keep your fan base interested, just go full throttle. Obviously, you can sing, and that's great, but what would be so bad about going shirtless? Lady Gaga doesn't even wear pants, and she's maintained her dignity!
And if you want, we won't tell anyone, either. You know what they say: What happens in Vegas...