Star Spotting: Is Kim Kardashian A Human Or Mannequin?

Credit: Michael Williams

The Kardashian and Jenner ladies -- Kris, Kourtney, Kim, Khloé, Kendall, Kylie, PLUS baby Mason (who is not, in fact, a lady) -- all visited the Sunset Tower Hotel in L.A. yesterday to celebrate their appearance on the cover of Redbook magazine's May 2011 issue. They all simply glowed on the red carpet, proving that each member of Hollywood's favorite family was, like, custom-built for the light bulbs of paparazzi or something. We're not sure what's going on in Kris' genes, exactly, but something in her genetic material is working overtime to make every one of her daughters no less than a statuesque Armenian-American beauty queen.

Like, honestly, you guys, how is Kim Kardashian a human being? We've heard her sing and watched her on TV. We've witnessed her walking and talking, so in that way, we know that in some respects, she's just like the rest of us. But, really, how is virtually every picture of Kim we see of her -- including those taken at the Redbook event -- flawless? She doesn't just look like a mannequin here. She looks like a perfect mannequin with perfect skin and eyes and cheekbones. It's like she was cut from marble. To quote The Killers, "are you human," Kim Kardashian?

Calling someone "impossibly beautiful" is a compliment, but at some point, you have to ask yourself, can someone be so pretty that they're actually a superhot alien? Is Kim Kardashian a beautiful extraterrestrial creature? Is Kris Jenner secretly designing perfect specimens of human beings in her basement? Are we asking too many questions? (Maybe, maybe, and definitely.)

Credit: Michael Williams