If I had a crown and a gold medal that said "You Win," I'd give them both to this sixth-grade boy (YouTube user Greyson97) who performed Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" at a school assembly and pretty much blows the roof off the gym while doing it.
It's hard to outdo Gaga herself, but, even in a polo shirt and some Dockers shorts or whatever -- less a headdress, police tape, and bondage boots -- this kid more than manages. He also gets extra credit for looking a lot like Justin Bieber. (Also, can we agree that this is 100 times less creepy than the soldiers who reenacted"Telephone"?)
Watch this sixth-grader cover "Paparazzi" on the piano. We've found ourselves the next Tori Amos. (Except he's a boy.)