Mariah Carey's People's Choice Awards White Dress Mess

Um, so did you see the People's Choice Awards last night? Okay, so they were totally boring and officially had me in the ZZZZ Zone UNTIL MARIAH CAREY SHOWED UP IN THAT WHITE DRESS.

Okay, so Mariah Carey always looks pretty and polished. But WTF? The white beaded Ysa Makino dress she wore to accept her Favorite R&B Artist award was about eight(teen) sizes too small. Nick Cannon -- whom she shouted out during her acceptance speech, saying, "Thanks for being my best friend and for many other things that I probably shouldn't mention," and practically forced everyone to picture them doing it -- had to assist her as she nearly tripped and drowned on the train's beyond excessive fabric, which should've been used to cover her bust which was begging to be let free. What should've been the job of a small army was left to a small, helpless halter strap was working overtime and probably not getting paid for the job. I was waiting on a critical wardrobe malfunction that would've had the FCC reeling faster than you can say "Adam Lambert." Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Especially when you can't and shouldn't.

Missed Mariah at the People's Choice Awards? Check out photos of Mariah and her white dress disaster -- and Nick "I-Didn't-Sign-Up-For-This" Cannon! Mimi -- L.O.V.E. U., H.A.T.E. the dress.