For all the boys out there wondering why things just don’t go their way with the ladies, just take note of Russell Brand*. Want to impress a girl? You don’t have to be a sensitive, considerate human being; you don’t have to buy her a nice, thoughtful gift. Heck, you don’t even have to put a ring on it! All you have to do is make lewd comments from the stage while hosting a globally televised awards show, suggesting that you are readily available for a bit of the no-pants-dance.
Russell Brand, who’s made no secret of his affection for Katy Perry during his stint hosting this year’s VMAs — he told the VMAs that he liked what he looked up the hole in Katy Perry’s trousers — has apparently gotten his girl. According to the Daily Mail, Brand and Perry just spent a romantic week in Thailand, getting to know one a little bit better while spending some time on the beach. And while Katy didn’t exactly come out and name names, she more or less confirmed the union on Twitter, claiming, “After a week in magical Thailand I’m ready 2 face the real world again. Been schooled on Morrissey, Oscar Wilde & Peter Sellers… inspired.” This led Perez Hilton, sort of a one-man C.S.I. for celeb-love trysts to conclude it must be on between the American rocker and the Brit funnyman, since Wilde, Morrissey and Sellers are a holy trinity to Brand.
Mission accomplished, Russell!
*This is sarcasm. While Russell Brand is an extremely amusing celebrity and probably an incredible person to hang out with we cannot, in any way, suggest mimicking his pick-up game unless you want to spend a night in central booking for harassment.
+ Watch Katy Perry rock Russell Brand at the 2009 VMAs.