Vintage Video: Michael Jackson, 'The Way You Make Me Feel'

Michael Jackson jokes aren't funny anymore. Being cruel to that special little guy is passe and, well, cruel. "The Way You Make Me Feel" is a particularly problematic video.

For one thing, this song rules. It's amazing. I say with no sarcasm, whatsoever, that it basically almost makes The Beatles look bad. Honestly, the same can be said for much of MJ's early catalog. His talent is just astounding. How in the hell did he do it?!?

On the other (gloved) hand, there are a few things about this video that are just too absurd to ignore. For one thing, as an aggressive pursuer of women, Michael Jackson is completely implausible. There is just no believing him.

Secondly, the fact that he seduces this woman by screaming, literally screaming, "ahhhhhh," right in her face, is almost more than I can handle. Could that ever possibly work? Will somebody PLEASE try it and report back? If it works, we'll give you a reality show.

Back to the matter at hand. As flat-out incredible as "The Way You Make Me Feel" is, as a single, the plot line of the video is almost completely indigestible. Michael Jackson just can't be believed as a romantic lead. It's like casting Christopher Mintz-Plasse opposite Angelina Jolie in a Gladiator sequel. Totally impossible. All except for one part. The end. Where the woman finally submits to Michael Jackson's animal advances.

In the perfect climax to 6+ minutes of raw "masculinity," they approach each other tentatively in shadows, sizing each other up, breathing heavily, and then... They hug.