Buzz Bites — 6/18/09: IT WOULD SEEM THAT DAVID ARCHULETA'S DAD ENJOYS 'SPECIAL MASSAGES'

+ For all two people who haven't heard this devastating news, darling dollface David Archuleta's DAD (who is also a MORMON, in case you forgot) was busted for soliciting prostitution at a massage parlor in Utah. <using our spa voices>: P.S. —  Looks like he got a "happy ending" too.  This makes up for anything our parents never got us for Christmas. (MTV News)

+ Guess who's gracing the cover of Elle magazine's July music issue: none other than the always lovely and forever glamorous Gwen Stefani. Va va va VOOM! (Popbytes)

+ Miley Cyrus was out for a little seafood dinner when she gave an impromptu performance, much to the crowd's surprise! They begged for more, but she made her exit after two songs. (E! Online)

+ Jack White hates MySpace and wants you to go to the record store and buy his friggin' vinyl... (The Tripwire)

+ ...which is probably a good idea since MySpace just laid off like 400 people (about 30% of its workforce). YIKES! Think I should cancel that interview I have next week? (All Things Digital)

+ Nick Lachey says he's never heard unlikely singer Susan Boyle actually sing. Hm. Sounds like Nick needs to take a trip on them Interwebs those lazy crazy kids are usin' these days. (US Magazine)