Saturday night was Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards 2009, also known as THE NIGHT JOE JONAS REVEALED HIS NEW HAIRCUT! But other things happened too! And instead of just TALKING about them, let's LOOK AT THE PHOTOS, shall we?
Miley Cyrus won Favorite Female Singer, and she cried. And cried. And cried. She cried so much she became Cryly Cyrus. Cyley Crylus even! I don't remember if she thanked Jesus, but she was super verklempt and definitely thanked her fans. And cried some more. She managed to do it in a classy way. Like, her face wasn't all full of bawly snot or anything. Congrats, Miley!
Archidorable McArchipants David Archuleta, fresh off the U.S. leg of his tour, accepted the Favorite Reality Show award on behalf of American Idol along with Paula Abdul, who OF COURSE interrupted him AND scared the crap out of me in what looked like costume castaways from a performance of "Disturbia." (Seriously, what WAS that?)
I was traumatized.
Jesse McCartney won Favorite Male Singer, and while the "How Do You Sleep" remix with Ludacris is totally hot, Jesse also won Buzzworthy's unofficial Worst Glasses Award for those Transitions lenses. Sad panda, dude.
Demi Lovato was an absolute golden GODDESS. She was dressed up without looking OVERLY made-up. And her amazing gold metallic dress is an Ina Soltani, if you're taking notes, and her heels are YSL.
I included this photo of Josh Peck because I have a total crush on him. I'm pretty sure he was sending secret eye signals to me through the TV and telling me he wants to run away with me. I'm positive.
And, finally, here it is, your moment of Zen -- Best Music Group winners the Jonas Brothers and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a loin cloth or something, all wet and slimy and mens-like -- which is going to push me into therapy... or an early grave...
+ Get the complete list of Kids' Choice Awards 2009 winners, and check out KCA red carpet photos and behind-the-scenes photos of the Jonas Brothers, David Archuleta, Miranda Cosgrove and more KCA stars both slimed and unscathed!