Along with every other item known to manboykind -- ring-around-the-rosie statues, ATVs, the X-Men arcade game, life-sized installations of scenes from Peter Pan, and original 19th-century French art -- Michael Jackson is putting a whole village worth of white folks up for auction this April! And they're only like $400-600 each! He's got life-sized L.A. cops, butlers, grandparents, little boys, ladies holding copies of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus... EVERYTHING.
You know how at the end of Ghostbusters, the ultimate villain, The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, is generated by the first thought that pops into the Busters' heads? Well, going by this collection, it seems like Michael Jackson had that same power, only it never stopped happening. Everything he ever thought of just sprang into existence. And now you can buy all of it! Including the super creepy kidnapper van pictured here, for convenient transportation of all your new whites!