The Evolution of the Concert Tee: Top 5 Weirdest Examples Of Celebrity Merch

First of all, I totally want this Cobra Starship Snake Heart Tee. Whatever. It's cute and you know it.

Anyway, lately, I couldn't help but notice that some of your favey celebs have some pretty crazy merch for sale. Like, WAY beyond your traditional lunchboxes and posters and tee-shirts. Some of this stuff is strange, some is creepy, and some is just plain BONKERS-ASS INSANITY!!

Here are the five weirdest pieces of celebrity merch your dollars (or Euros) can buy.

5. Taylor Swift Performance Dolls: Ok, those teeny, tiny guitars are a little bit cute, and the harmless little hairbrushes won me over a smidge, but these dolls are just super scary. And how in this universe of universes do they look anything like Tay Tay?! If these things were under my bed at night, I'd be afraid to go to sleep.

4. Tokio Hotel Beauty Kit: Paging Lady Gaga! Gaga, you must buy this immeds. True, there's no actual makeup in the Tokio Hotel Beauty Kit, but you'lll lurv looking at yourself in the Tokio Hotel compact as you apply copious amounts of black eyeliner (this fatty Givenchy pencil is all "geschäft"), tease your hair into an oblivion, and/or try to achieve any of these Tokio Hotel looks on your own face.

3. Jonas Brothers Poned Ring: Little did I know that this pwned vs. poned situation would open up such a can of worms. Here's the thing, fellow JoBro fans! Technically, the correct term is PWN! Now we can argue all day and night about this as we've been doing on the Twitter, but whether you say PWNED or whether you say PONED, in either case, it's still marginally weird to get it engraved on your purity ring.

2. Eminem Hair Clips: As in, like, Eminem barrettes. Uhm... _____________ (This space intentionally left blank due to speechlessness.)

1. Hannah Montana Penis Candy: So, this isn't marketed as penis candy, and you won't find any mention of a penis on the packaging (right... because those are... "guitars"????), but please take a look at this Miley Cyrus Hannah Montana candy and tell us with a straight face that it doesn't look like a penis. See, you can't. Because IT DOES!