Buzzworthy's S*** We Wanna Get: Eminem's 'The Way I Am' Autobiography

Tom Wolfe he ain't, and as fetching as that man looks in a white suit, Tom never wrote a verse like "Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear 'em argue over who she..." you get the point.

So, Eminem's book, The Way I Am, ($24-ish at Barnesandnoble.com or Amazon.com) is, uh, ... less an autobiography (like, we're not even talking Slash levels here) and more a glossy collection of production notes and mementos bound into a yearbook that showcases his preternatural collection of middle-finger photos.

The best quote of the book? "My old manager and I wound up falling out over a Whopper sandwich. Manager dude was going to Burger King, and he didn't ask me if I wanted anything to eat, knowing I had no money. I didn't have a dollar in my f-----g pocket. At that point I said, F--- it, you know? What kind of a f------g manager are you?" WORD LIFE!

There is also an amazing centerfold devoted to how intense Eminem feels about horses. ("Horses and me, we don't get on too well. I wouldn't f--- with a horse. If a horse dissed me, I wouldn't say anything back.") Not making that up either.

Anyway with quotes like that and photos of Eminem's pre-Taco Bell ass, it is a book that makes me thank GOD the printing press was invented. It won't fit into your stocking, but it should look lovely alongside most standard-issue menorahs. Enjoy!

+ Ho-ho-ho holiday-appropes Eminem video: "Just Lose It."

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