UPDATE -- JULY 1, 2009: KEVIN JONAS IS ENGAGED TO GIRLFRIEND DANIELLE DELEASA!
Taking a minute out from checking Lil Wayne's ESPN blog and reading about Bernard Madoff (most... epic... fail... ever... and as crap-pay as that is, if you're gonna get busted for something, make it a ponzi scheme, because "ponzi scheme" just sounds cooler than "arson") to ponder whether Kevin Jonas REALLY TRULY DID get engaged to alleged girlfriend Danielle Deleasa. Is he about to swap that purity ring for a wedding ring?
Perhaps, but people, let's be reasonable with ourselves here and recall that the Jonas Brothers avoid and evade almost any and all romantic inquiries. Nick and Joe especially -- dudes are master dodgers and deflectors of anything even remotely resembling an inquest into their personal life. Like the Venus and Serena Williams of avoidance, they will crush you, they will crush me, they will crush Ryan Seacrest, and they'll barely admit to a relationship even once it's over and Miley Cyrus is crying her eyes out and dying her hair, and Taylor Swift's doll is making a video about it.
The Jonas Brothers are like dating ninjas. Aside from the rare dinner or jaunt out for ice cream, if and/or when they do date, it's in secret, under covert cover of darkness, probably in unknowable underground tunnels and chunnels, ostensibly and understandably opting to keep their private lives private and focus on their fans and their music and spend the rest of their lives never having to hear the words "she's just not that into you." Seriously, forget Kanye -- the Jonas Brothers wrote the book on keeping their love on lockdown.
That was, until Kevin Jonas and Danielle were spotted smooching in Cali this past October. Then Kevin turned 21 this past November and was named one of People's sexiest men alive. Serious big boy time! And then the speculation really heated up earlier this month when OceanUp posted up a report of the Jonas Brothers shopping for fancy jewels at David Yurman in Dallas. INTERESTING... But, they're boys with bucks, and they could've been picking out a "you're an awesome friend" ring? Maybe? No? Possibly? Or some stuff for Mama Denise, who was allegedly with them.
And just this past Monday, OceanUp followed up that doozy with another post claiming that a fan spotted Kevin and Danielle in the Bahamas, and Danielle was rockin' that rock. Truth? Fiction? Who knows. I mean, Kevin and Danielle have ALLEGEDLY been dating for ages. Also, Kevin's all growed up. Let the boy kiss his lady friend and/or shop for fancy jewels if he wants! If he does get married, in true Jonas style, we probably won't find out about it for years! The general public will probably be the last to know. That's why we're the PUBLIC! What I do know is, I'd like to be the first to buy them a KitchenAid mixer in the color of their choosing.