How does one go about becoming the Guinness Book of World Records' Most Searched Person on the Internet? To be honest, we're not entirely sure. So we did a little Web sleuthing on the title holders from 2005 and 2006 (namely, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton) and see whether we could discern a pattern between their dual methodologies. After an exhaustive and completely unscientific analysis, we hit on two separate, but equally effective, options:
Option 1: Establish yourself as the reigning pop star of the new millennium. Then, accomplish each of the following tasks (in no particular order): Break up with pre-"Sexyback" Justin Timberlake, make out with pre-A-Rod Madonna, marry a guy whose entire wardrobe consists of sleeveless Hanes undershirts, have baby, drop baby, drop baby weight, divorce baby-daddy, enter/leave rehab in dramatic fashion, etc.
Option 2: "Accidentally" leak a tawdry sex-tape (provocatively titled 1 Night in Paris) starring yourself and then-boyfriend Rick Hamilton. Feign unfamiliarity with the word "WalMart."
Granted, Britney's modus operandi requires far more time, effort and premeditation than Paris', but ultimately the payoff is huge.
After all, not only did the three-time VMA winner score the coveted Most Searched Person title for in 2005 -- she won it again in 2007 (oops!), edging out Paris by adding "shave head," "buy hair extensions," "brandish umbrella," "wear tight, black Spandex-y thing to VMAs," "forget lyrics" and "fire manager" to her list of accomplishments. (Impressive, especially considering her gorgeous bikini-bod and Versace-clad VMAs vindication hadn't even happened yet).
Meanwhile, in other world record-setting news, Oprah took home the title of Most Overpaid Daytime Talk Show Host (Kidding! She actually won for Highest Annual Earnings by a TV Talk Show Host) while Miley Cyrus -- and her alter-ego, Hannah Montana -- shattered the record for Highest Grossing Movie of a Music Tour and Brangelina knocked a couch-hopping Tom Cruise out of the Most Powerful Actor spot.
+ For more Britney/Paris mania, check out the highlights of Britney's victorious 2008 VMAs turn. Plus, don't miss the premiere of Paris' new reality show, Paris Hilton's My New BFF. (Speaking of which, remember when those two kids used to be tight??)