Spice Girls Reunite!... With Photoshop


(Photo via Dailymail.co.uk)

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my… blatantly retouched press photo! The weirdest thing about this recent Spice Girls publicity shot is that Posh, who's apparently under doctor's orders to gain weight for the newly reformed group's upcoming, years-in-the-making reunion tour, actually looks the most "natural" of the five. And "Posh" and "natural" are two words rarely used together except for when they're used as direct opposites.

We're glad to see that Geri Halliwell, (she'll always be our little Ginger!) ditched the Burning Man look. But she, like Scary Mel, appears to have forgotten her top and also resembles some bizarre I Dream Of Jeannie-dominatrix hybrid. And who knew cupcake wrappers came in black? Or in the form of a skirt? Are we sure that's even Mel C.'s head and not that hot brunette chick from that HBO show about sex? And is that Baby Spice or Ashlee Simpson? At least their other tour photos look a little more glam. Still, we have a soft spot for the Spice Girls who embraced their total trannyness.

The imaginatively titled "Spice Girls Reunion Tour" kicks off in Vancouver on December 2 -- which is also Britney's birthday, so it looks like we're double booked -- when the girls increase their patent leather carbon footprint tenfold, touring the universe in the Boeing 757 they've rented, decorated with Spice Girls crap ephemera and nicknamed (again, imaginatively) "Spice Force One."

You can also watch five grown women get paid a zillion dollars to sing "zig-ah-zig-ahhh" in public, when the Spice Girls perform on Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on Dec. 4 on CBS. And if you can't wait that long, you can camp out at your local private airport (until you get arrested) and tailgate with their new Greatest Hits album -- their first album in seven years -- which was just released yesterday but is currently available only at (wait for it) Victoria's Secret until its wide release in January. Or, you could just calm down and do what all the normal people in the world are doing: sitting by their computers and obsessively checking the official Spice Girls Spice Blog for updates.