Appropriate reactions to a formal engagement announcement: shedding a few tears, gleefully demanding details of the proposal, offering congratulations to the lucky couple.
Inappropriate reactions to a formal engagement announcement: vomiting in the host’s bathroom sink, passing out on the host’s finely upholstered sofa, saying things like “Boo, bitch!” or “You have to get down on this three-bean salad — it is my jam.”
On tonight’s “Awkward” episode, the otherwise straight-laced Gabby fell so quickly off her rocker she broke the sound barrier in transit. Surrounded by human landmines (her ex, Matty, his ex, Jenna, and Tamara, her current boyfriend’s ex) at T and Adam’s party, Gabby decided the only way she could get through the evening was to spike her blood alcohol content. And so, she had some wine. And then she had some more wine. And she topped that off with wine.
What happened next was an unfortunate tradition among Palos Hills’ most sociable teens: the party-unravel. Before the eyes of her mostly sober peers, Gabby came undone like a loosely threaded yarn ball and proceeded to serve as the occasion’s unwitting entertainment — that is, until she conked out for the evening. Embarrassing? Yes. But at least she was surrounded by classmates who had already been there. Among them:
As a sophomore, Jenna enjoyed a drink here and there but never passed the point of no return — until, of course, Aunt Ally rolled into town. Lacey’s best friend promised Jenna the party of a lifetime, and when all was said and done, she delivered. Unfortunately, the legendary rager came at the expense of Jenna’s reputation, and after Ally stealthily drugged “Lil’ Bitch” to loosen her up, Jenna made an ass of herself, offended Matty and made out with Tamara’s boyfriend Ricky Schwartz. At least nobody called the cops…?
As resident Big Man on Campus, Matty has committed the Palos Hills party circuit to memory. And though he’s usually pretty good about holding his liquor, booze got the best of him at Jenna’s accidental “Blackout Party,” during which he loudly gloated in front of a group of his incredulous peers. Sure, Matty’s been a little tipsy before, but it never got this bad, and shouting “I’m Matty f---ing McKibben” instantly absolved him of any popularity. A party foul, to say the least…
Palos Hills’ senior class president is meticulous, diligent and painstakingly attentive to detail — except when she sneaks into sorority mixers during prospective college visits. In that case, she’s sloppy, negligent and likely to kick off a series of keg stands. Though T was more than prepared to ace an interview at Southern Coast University, she wound up surrendering to the temptation of Greek life’s free booze the night before. And, after downing dozens of shots, she totally mangled her meeting with an admissions counselor. There’s blowing off steam, and then there’s blowing off your future…
Sadie doesn’t typically get drunk for the same reason she doesn’t show emotion or commit to relationships: She doesn’t want to lose the upper hand. But during the Season 2 finale, her discipline crumbled like a house of cards, and in the midst of letting loose with many a highball, the school bully got sickeningly maudlin and performed the ol’ pass-out-on-her-peers routine. Still, catching her date making out with another guy jolted her into sobriety like a hot cup of coffee in an ice-cold shower.
Who could ever forget Lissa’s ushering of the “behymen” into Palos Hills’ teenage lexicon? In “Awkward”’s very first season, and at its first intimate kickback, Lissa — who’d thrown a few back — struggled to appeal to Jake sexually while keeping her vow of chastity. And so, in an unforgettable moment, she offered her boyfriend what came to be known as “God’s blind spot.” Jake respectfully declined, but at least Lissa had a pleasant buzz to keep her warm.
While others turn to makeshift bongs or magic brownies to achieve a certain level of chill, Jake has never needed the help of a substance — he’s usually as cool as a cucumber. But after he unwittingly munched on some “space cookies” (they were seriously called that), his trip into the cosmos was booked for him. His high was relatively harmless until he wound up barreling across the room, leaping and mistakenly crashing down through Angelique’s glass-topped coffee table. Not his fault — bill the dealer!