'Scream Queens': Here's Who's Totally Going To Die Next (And When)

Sayonara, red shirts.

In case you missed Tuesday night's two-hour season premiere of "Scream Queens," know this -- they killed off a whole lot of people right off the bat. Probably more than viewers were expecting, in fact. And while we can't know for sure whether or not the Ryan Murphy-helmed series will continue with this breakneck (literally) pace, we have a feeling that a couple of bodies will drop at least every other week... and based on pure science, here's who we think those bodies will be, in order of "see you never" to "Emma Roberts, who will never, ever die":

  1. Sam the Pledge

    She's a rad AF, butch Asian lesbian with actual things to say about the world she lives in. In other words, she's already dead.

  2. Jennifer the Pledge

    Sorry, candle girl -- you were introduced to be more of a joke than an actual person. You won't last long.

  3. Gigi Caldwell

    She's an older (than our leads, anyway), slightly sad single woman. She'll totally die, ASAP.

  4. Earl Grey

    He was barely in the two-hour premiere, but he's billed as a series regular... which doesn't mean much, on a show like this. He'll probably die horribly.

  5. Boone

    First off, we don't think that Nick Jonas has the time to do an entire season of "Scream Queens." (He's billed as a "Special Guest Star.") But more importantly, he's the red herring guy, which means he'll surely end up on the other end of the Red Devil's blade soon enough.

  6. Chanel #3

    Of all the Chanels, #3 made the weakest impression.... which means as soon as all of the red shirts are killed, she's next.

  7. Denise Hemphill

    No one wants Niecy Nash to be killed off of anything, but then again, Denise is an old. She'll probably be sacrificed some time in the second half of the season, so that a nubile young college student can live to see another day.

  8. Wes Gardner
    Skip Bolen/FOX

    Wes being fridged would definitely have that Ned Stark/Dumbledore affect where it made his grieving daughter even stronger with her vengeance. It'll probably happen, but not until way, way later in the season.

  9. Chad Radwell

    Chad is going to be that guy who has a ridiculously comical death (think Jamie Kennedy in "Scream") in the latter third of the season. Sex will very likely be involved. No one will be very sad for Chad.

  10. Pete Martínez

    He'll die in the finale, right? And we'll probably think he's the killer on and off until that happens?

  11. Grace Gardner

    GASP! Wouldn't it be so like Ryan Murphy to kill off his final girl on or before the actual final? We have a feeling that a couple of Ry-Mo faves will last to move on to season two, but we would not be remotely surprised if relative newcomer Skyler Samuels wasn't one of them.

  12. Chanel #5

    Chanel #5 -- AKA, our current number one suspect -- will probably die in the finale, but not before she finally gets out all of that pent-up aggression.

  13. Zayday Williams

    You can't kill Keke Palmer -- at least not until the finale. We're going to go ahead and take a stab at predicting what Murphy will do with season two of "Scream Queens," and we think he'll bring approximately four of the current cast along for another ride... and for some reason, we very strongly feel that Palmer will be included on the survivor's list.

  14. Cathy Munsch

    ... Munsch, on the other hand, could go either way. Could she be the Red Devil herself, just to spit in the face of the millions of fans who love Jamie Lee Curtis as the final girl? Could she die in a blaze of glory? Could she live to form a reluctant partnership with Chanel Oberlin in season two? Any of the above are possible, but no matter what happens, bet on Murphy having something pretty grand planned for Jamie Lee Curtis.

  15. Neckbrace Ulrich

    Ryan Murphy hearts Lea Michele. Always and forever. Neckbrace won't die.

  16. Chanel Oberlin

    Hahahaha. No way, bitches.