Paramount Pictures

Here's Why We Think The ‘Star Trek Beyond’ Release Date Got Pushed Back

The Final Frontier is also very time-consuming.

If you were hoping to catch a screening of "Star Trek Beyond" on Independence Day weekend next year, then you'd better put those plans on hold -- it was recently was announced that the third "Star Trek" reboot will push its release date back from July 8th to July 22.

We know that these sorts of delays have to do more with filming schedules and box office finagling than anything else, but I'm kind of tickled by the idea that first popped into my head, which is that of course the Enterprise is just late to its own movie. What could have made them so late? Judging by how ridiculous the original TV series got sometimes, it could have been literally anything:

  • Maybe those tribbles they found in the last movie ruined the whole ship.
  • They clearly got blasted back into the past by an explosion after getting drunk off a virus.
  • Spock might have lost his brain and they had to go find it.

    Brain, brain, what is brain?

  • They were probably hijacked by a travelling band of space hippies.
  • They had to go teach an alien culture how to interpret the Constitution.

    You know, so they could fight communists.

  • Kirk could have been brainwashed into thinking he's a Native American and they had to fix him.

    That actually happened, America.

  • A bunch of children on the ship might have accidentally summoned a demon.
  • Finally, they probably had to fight evil bearded versions of themselves.

    You know, like you do.