9 Legal Methods Lawyers Could Use To Defend Disney Villains

All of them are just poor unfortunate souls.

Disney movie villains have been committing crimes since 1937, way back when the witch tried to kill Snow White with the poison apple. (Note to self: Do not accept food from strangers.) Since then, they've been doing all kinds of ~illegal activities~ to try and get the jump on the annoyingly perfect heroes. Yeah, we're looking at YOU, Aladdin.

Reddit user ineed_one_more_lette did an AskReddit thread, wanting lawyers to explain what their defense would be for Disney villains' alleged crimes. The results are hilarious, and prove there's a loophole for anything these days.

  1. Redditor jacdeswilliams wrote, "Ursula made a contract with Ariel that had no clause saying Ursula was not allowed to interfere. The contract stated she had to get Eric to fall in love with her without her voice, she failed, and she has to pay the price for her failure. It's not Ursula's fault Ariel doesn't put things by a lawyer before she signs them."

    Plus, don't even try to argue she's a minor, because we don't "know the age in which one becomes an adult in the Atlantican legal system," according to Redditor jrgolden42.

  2. Redditor DoctorFahrenheit argued, "Scar mourned Mufasa's death before putting his personal pain aside to lead a nation that needed him. Now his nephew, who mysteriously ran off after his father's death, shows up and accuses him of foul play years later? When his loving uncle refuses to just hand over everything and suggests Simba enter a rehabilitation program all of a sudden he starts throwing around wild accusations. This case has no merit."

  3. Prince Hans, "Frozen"

    Redditor AdultSupervision explained, "Prince Hans' attempted assassination of Queen Elsa was carried out on behalf of the nation of Arendelle, which would almost certainly have suffered tremendous loss of life and a devastating economic downturn had the winter gone on any longer."

  4. Cruella de Vil, "101 Dalmatians"

    Redditor starstarstar42 said Cruella was "lawfully acting within her role as a duly appointed Animal Control Officer."

  5. Judge Claude Frollo, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"

    Redditor seperationsunday quoted one of Frollo's songs, claiming, "It's not [Frollo's] fault that in God's plan He made the Devil so much stronger than a man."

  6. Shere Khan, "The Jungle Book"

    Redditor butz1819 proposed, "While the violent intruder Mowgli endangered the security and peace of the entire jungle, as he brought a weapon of mass destruction — fire — into the sovereign territory of the jungle. Shere Khan was one of the few citizens to realize the potential threat caused by this unlawful human creature. Selflessly, he fought the creature."

  7. Lady Tremaine (aka the Wicked Stepmother), "Cinderella"

    Redditor Christopherhaze69 dictated, "As Cinderella's guardian, it is perfectly within her rights to protest her marriage at such a young age, even to royalty. Locking her up was an act of maternal love for her step-daughter, as Cinderella's step-sisters were much more ready for such a significant relationship."

  8. Jafar, "Aladdin"

    Redditor VeryLittle, "He was performing his duty as Royal Vizier to investigate the credentials of the new heir apparent, who was essentially a conman committing fraud against the royal family."

  9. Captain Hook, "Peter Pan"

    Redditor trexrocks posits, "Captain Hook suffers from severe PTSD after being brutally mauled by a crocodile. Peter Pan's ceaseless taunting aggravated his condition and caused a mental break. You must find him not guilty by reason of temporary insanity."

Some of the responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

H/T Reddit