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Amy Schumer Drunk-Ate Jake Gyllenhaal's Princess Cake And, Yes, There's Video

New mantra: "Yes, we can. I am."

While guesting on spankin'-new host Stephen Colbert's "Late Show", Amy Schumer let slip that she once rented an apartment owned by Jake Gyllenhaal. And somehow, the story gets better.

"I never met him, but he was renting out his two-bedroom apartment, and my sister and I needed to get a place together," Schumer explained (is that something we non-famous peeps can get in on, btw? Just curious). And because she's our girl, the moment she moved in, she went straight "CSI" on the place. "I went through all of Jake's stuff. Of course I did!" she admitted.

"The one thing he did leave – because he really gutted the place – was he left a frozen cake in his freezer," she continued. AND THE PLOT THICKENS. "It was very old...and I would get drunk and I would eat it and I would talk as if he were there and I was at the party that the cake was served at."

And, for evidentiary purposes, OF COURSE Amy's sister caught the act on camera. Someone alert the Pulitzer panel! Behold: the wonder, the glory, the majesty that is Amy Schumer eating Jake Gyllenhaal's princess cake.

And the world was never the same. This officially marks the first and last time Jake Gyllenhaal has rented out his apartment.