Over the past few weeks, we’ve been gifted with select revelations and anecdotes from Jennifer Lawrence’s New York Times interview. There was the news about her collaborating on the movie of our dreams with Amy Schumer, as well as the confusing but ultimately amazing birthday snap with Kris Jenner; both awesome stories in their own right.
But now, the full interview is here and it’s shedding some fascinating light on who Jennifer really is. At a quarter-century years old, she’s experienced her fair share of drama — her nude photos being hacked, her salary leaked, her Oscar fall seen ‘round the world — all of which NYT reporter Brookes Barnes brought up to her during their chat.
“Could you maybe rattle off a few more mortifying things about me?” Jen replied, before ultimately admitting that she’s “calmer” and “more in control” these days.
Still, even Jen revealed she battles with anxiety about how she’s perceived in the public eye.
“I’m so scared to say anything now,” she said. “I can see every negative way that people can take it, and I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. “Oh, she’s so conceited now. Oh, she’s so jaded now.’”
In fact, while candidly discussing why she’s so hyper-aware of the way the world sees her, she confessed to caving in to the temptations of self-Googling.
“It probably comes from Googling myself,” she said. “It if were up to me, I would not talk. I would just act.”
Just how far does her self-searching spiral go? Well…
“I once Googled ‘Jennifer Lawrence Ugly,’” she laughed.
When Barnes suggests she stop searching the internet for herself, Jen replied, “You try being 22, having a period and staying away from Google.”
Fair point, TBH.
Ultimately, though, the “Hunger Games” heroine does know how futile it is to risk more insecurity by falling into a self-destructive black hole.
“I can’t think of a more wasteful use of my time than to worry about this,” she said. “Why do I care what people think? But I do. I just can’t pretend I don’t care. I get really insecure about it. The world makes an opinion of you without ever meeting you. That worry should not bother me, but it does. It bothers me. I’m going to leave here and think, ‘Oh God, why couldn’t I just have been cool and confident?’”
This particular kind of real-talk is a far cry from Jen’s meme-worthy silliness, but it ultimately serves up a very honest picture about what it means to be a normal, young woman thrust into the spotlight. She admits to Barnes that she deals with anxiety the same as anyone else (“I have a prescription”) and she’s learned to be content in her own special way.
“I find a certain peace by thinking of me in public as sort of an avatar self,” she explained. “You out there can have the avatar me. I can keep me. And I just try to acknowledge that this scrutiny is stressful, and that anyone would find it stressful. So I’ve got to try to let it go, and try to be myself, and focus on important things, like picking up dog poop.”
Ah — there’s the Jen we remember.