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'Scream Queens': Every Spoiler-Free Reason You'll Laugh Until You Cry

Trust us. It might be the freshest hell on TV.

"Scream Queens" is an unapologetic, over-the-top horror-satire -- and it's thoroughly fun. Absurd and hilarious (in a good way), Ryan Murphy's "Scream Queens" is one of this season's most promising TV pilots, and we here at MTV News are going to give you a spoiler-free rundown of the delightful insanity.

The opening scene of "Scream Queens" sets the tone for the rest of the two-hour premiere with it's bitingly self-aware take on Greek culture and the horror genre. This is "Heathers" if the bitchy clique had actually made it college, and Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) is the ultimate mean girl, a wonderfully wicked mix of Heather Chandler, Regina George and Roberts' own "American Horror Story" starlet Madison Montgomery.

"Scream Queens" follows Chanel (#1, to be exact), the ruthless Kappa Kappa Tau president who rules her sorority with an iron, couture-clad fist. Her and her squad of Chanels -- Chanel #2 (Ariana Grande), Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) and Chanel #5 (Abigail Breslin) -- are the pretty, popular untouchables of campus.

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Chanel's reign of terror is put at risk when Dean Cathy Munsch, played by OG scream queen and overall badass Jamie Lee Curtis, forces the KKT president to accept anybody who wants to pledge at the sorority, including Lea Michele, who steals the show as Hester, aka "Neckbrace," a socially awkward pledge with an interest in dead things. Grace Gardner (Skyler Samuels), clearly the pledge we're supposed to think is Final Girl material, is the complete opposite of Chanel -- a legacy (and Twihard!) who just wants to restore Kappa Kappa to its former "glory."

However, when a string of gruesome murders at the hands of a masked Red Devil threatens to ruin her popularity and future career goals of being the younger, hotter Diane Sawyer, the merciless Queen Bee orchestrates an elaborate plan to keep the murders under wraps.

Obviously, nothing ever goes according to plan, especially when your sorority is run by a bunch of rich girls who don't even know how STDs are transmitted.

With instantly ~iconic~ dialogue and extremely fun twists and turns, "Scream Queens" will no doubt be appointment viewing come fall. Here's what you need to know about Murphy's latest masterpiece:

  1. Emma Roberts is EVERYTHING as Chanel #1.
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    The most horrific thing in the "Scream Queens" two-hour premiere isn't the bloody string of deaths that haunt Kappa House; it's the endless string of obscenities that come out of Chanel #1's mouth. And Emma Roberts SELLS it. As Murphy's latest ingénue, Roberts serves up the performance of her career as KKT's head KNT. Between the biting insults (she refers to her sorority's maid as a "white Mammy" and forces her to quote politically incorrect scenes from "Gone with the Wind") and the temper tantrums, she's the kind of character you'll love to hate. Chances are that you won't be too sad to see her terrorized by the Red Devil -- but you also won't want her to get her comeuppance until the very end.

  2. There's lots of death, but it's never too morose.
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    If you want gratuitous violence and gore, go watch "Game of Thrones." "Scream Queens" isn't your typical slasher. Sure, the show manages to kill off quite a few characters in its first two hours, but it's all done with a wink and smirk. Look for one death in particular to make you LOL and shriek at the same time. It's equal parts scary and hilarious.

  3. You will be quoting this dialogue.
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    OK, so we can't give away too much about the Sept. 22 premiere, but just prepare yourself to see a dozen or more "Scream Queens"-related trending hashtags on Twitter every Tuesday night. It's just so on point. Everything that comes out of Chanel's mouth deserves to be on an Urban Outfitters t-shirt. At one point, Hester starts to call Chanel #1 MOM and it's just so perfect and yet another example of how the show is so culturally aware.

    Because we love you, here's a bit of dialogue, presented without commentary: "I am not missing 'Waterfalls' for this. 'Waterfalls' is my jam." Same. tbh.

  4. Lea Michele is hilarious.
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    And so NOT Rachel Berry. As Hester, Michele is able to tap into her macabre side, portraying a character with uncanny knowledge of the dead. Hester will do anything Chanel #1 (aka MOM) says, which makes her a prime candidate for being Chanel #6. We see a makeover montage to '80s music in her future.

  5. Nick Jonas gets shirtless.
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    Because duh! If you have the opportunity to strip Nick Jonas, you do it. Jonas delivers one of the best scenes of the entire two-hour premiere, as he defends his best bro Chad's (scene-stealer Glen Powell) douchey behavior. ("I can't date a garbage person, Chanel," Chad says. "I can't do that to myself.") Oh, and a surprising scene in the second hour will leave you wondering what Jonas' character Boone is really up to.

  6. We think we know who the Red Devil is.
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    OK, so we know it's too early to tell, but we have a MAJOR theory we can't wait to share with you. For now, you can rest assured knowing that after the first two episodes, you will definitely have your own theories about the identity of the Red Devil. "Scream Queens" does a really great job of casting doubt over everyone, including some characters we thought were gone for good.