If Kanye Runs For President, Here's His New National Anthem
Kanye West will run for President in 2020. This is a truth that we hold to be self evident. And when he wins -- and he will win, because Kanye is the G.O.A.T. -- there's going to be a lot of changes in America.
Including, we hope, using this song from Kylie Jenner/Rachel Platten/Ditty as our new national anthem:
Why would this be a better national anthem? Reasons:
You've never woken up with the national anthem in your head.
I woke up with this stuck in my head, and also Maeve Keirans did. You probably did too. By 2020, we all done did.
There are too many words in the national anthem.
Like, 310. That's way too many. BORING.
PUPPIES.
What's more relatable, cute dogs or bombs bursting in air? Answer: puppies.
The Jenners/Kardashians are BASICALLY the new Continental Congress.
This may or may not have anything to do with the "Star Spangled Banner," but they have as much sway with the public as your Ben Franklins and George Washingtons did back in Revolutionary War times. Credit where it's due.
It is our fight song.
Why wouldn't you replace a fight song with "Fight Song?" IT JUST MAKES SENSE.