Stop me if you ever tried this one as a kid: you're watching "Sailor Moon," literally the best cartoon about magical girl warriors of all time, when one of your parents comes up and tells you to do your homework. And, thinking you can maybe get out of it and keep watching your show, you're like, "But this show is totally educational! I'm learning SO MUCH ABOUT PLANETS!"
Did it work? Yeah, probably not.
But! If you were also a dorky little know-it-all child who actually did want to learn things about the solar system, there was some stuff in "Sailor Moon" that was legitimately, surprisingly useful. I can't tell you how often my little kid brain went into overdrive trying to find parallels between my all-time favorite show and the stuff we were learning in school.
So, if you're like me and know way too much about this iconic '90s anime series, these little weirdo bits of planet factoids will probably sound super familiar to you:
First of all, you know ALL the planet symbols by heart.
Probably doesn't help you much on tests but boy can you wow your fellow students in dorky trivia situations.
You know Mercury is for sure the hardest worker in the entire solar system.
A year on Mercury is four times faster than a year on Earth, and Sailor Mercury can finish a standardized test four times faster than anyone else in the world. It is known.
You know Mars is red, just like Sailor Mars.
Not like you'd ever forget that one nowadays, but it certainly helped me out as a seven-year-old, that's for sure.
And if you're a true dork, you know that Mars' two moons are called Phobos and Deimos.
Just like Sailor Mars' crow buddies! Aw, love those little jerks.
You know that Earth and Venus are the closest in size...
Because Sailor Venus and Sailor Moon look really similar to each other!
(Okay, technically the Earth's protector is Sailor Moon's boyfriend, Tuxedo Mask, but he's not a sailor scout and he doesn't count. Sorry, bro. You're cute, but you're not that cute.)
Jupiter is clearly the biggest planet because Sailor Jupiter is the tallest.
She's like a foot above everybody else on the team!
Jupiter is also all about thunderstorms.
Hers might not be as red and giant as their real world counterparts, but they will still mess you up.
Uranus and Neptune are both ice giants.
Because they're also tall, and they're pretty mean and aloof when you first meet 'em. Totally an ice giant thing.
Also, both planets are really pretty shades of blue.
The planets probably aren't totally in love with each other, but we can dream.
Saturn's really well known for its rings...
And SAILOR Saturn knows how to accessorize those rings really well.
Pluto is ridiculously far away compared to everything else.
It might not be a planet anymore, but you'll always remember how much farther away it is than the rest of the planets, because Pluto has to live all by herself with no friends at the Time Gate. Womp womp.
Pluto is also covered in ice.
Or popsicles. Whichever.
(I also wanna make a joke about how she can freeze time here, but I will spare you from that pain.)
Finally, you know all the planets are best friends with each other and that's just a scientific fact.
A fact, okay? Don't give me that look, elementary school science teacher, I know what I'm about.