Deadpool Will Massage Your Butt With Panda Tears: Watch

He's got magic fingers to go with that mouth.

If you're anything like us, you've already seen the blood-soaked, expletive-studded, redband "Deadpool" trailer that Ryan Reynolds debuted last night on "Conan." (And if you're anything like us, you wisely put on a pair of brown pants before viewing, 'cause it's amazing.)

But our favorite masked hero also made a second, special appearance during last night's show -- where it turned out that he's got a magic touch to go with that sassy mouth.

Unfortunately, this massage has a pretty unhappy ending, as even Deadpool can't handle the horror of discovering what lies beneath Conan's towel... or doesn't, in this case.

Watch the segment below.