Ah, summer -- the season devoted to the fine art of exerting no effort at all. Your playlists are full of chill jams and your flip flops are in heavy rotation. So why, on these scorching hot days, are you still putting yourself through the needlessly exhausting chore of wearing pants?
To get to the top in the summer game, you’re going to have to shed those bottoms. Here's how you can get your party on while keeping those blue jeans off:
Attending pool parties
Normally showing up to a party with the better part of a butt cheek exposed is a social no-no. But put a body of water somewhere on the premises, and suddenly it’s totally normal for everyone to be walking around in their waterprooof undies.
Regular surfing is difficult and requires patience and determination, neither of which have a place in a no-pants lifestyle. Opt instead for body surfing, which only requires you to strip down and step into the water.
You may only have a one-window AC unit in your apartment, but that’s all the more reason to stay in the same exact strategic spot on your couch. From there you can easily marathon your way through several hours of gripping pantlessness until the delivery guy comes and you have to momentarily put something on for decency’s sake or whatever.
Floating in a river
A true half-naked enthusiast knows how to plan their vacation based on how little they can get away with packing. Stick your buns in the middle of an innertube, and let your inner worries drift away.
Going to a waterpark
Want to take full advantage of summer break by hitting up an amusement park, but just can’t with the pants of it all? Get the best of both worlds by hitting a water park, where you and scores of total strangers can mingle in partially nude bliss.
Riding in a pontoon
It doesn’t matter if you plan on actually swimming. A life vest plus a bathing suit equals a perfectly acceptable outfit.
Going to a drive-in movie
While this is technically not an inherently pantsless activity, what you do in the privacy of your own vehicle is up to you and whoever else is there with you. Just make sure to step back into those cut-offs before you drive home.
Getting paid to not get dressed? Now that’s money. (Just, y'know, make sure you know how to save someone's life and all that super-important stuff.)