The problem with some guys is they’re not a problem at all. While dating a jerk comes with a whole slough of problems, at least it’s easy to dump a dude who’s a dud -- in fact, there are few things more satisfying in life than serving a creep his walking papers.
Breaking up with a sweetheart, though? Not so fun. No one wants to hurt a nice person’s feelings, and it’s easy to convince yourself that you can tolerate a certain amount of disappointment in the name of saving his feelings. Of course, you're not actually doing him any favors by staying with him out of pity. Here’s how to tell whether it’s time to sever ties with the well-meaning man in your life.
We know. Oof.
You are trying to talk yourself into being attracted to him
Chemistry is like sunshine on a beach day: No matter how much you want it, it’s either there or it’s not. No amount of discussion with yourself is going to trick your hormones into changing how they feel about him.
Admit that you’re fighting a pointless battle, and set him free so that he can find a cool girl who is legitimately hot for him.
You return compliments out of obligation
Unconvincingly choking out a “you’re ... really cool too,” isn’t music to anyone’s ears. Next time he compliments you, thank him, and then welcome the opportunity to bring up the fact that this relationship is truly not working out.
You dread hanging out with him
You’re constantly worried that he’ll say something like, “You make me really happy.” You have a pit in your stomach just thinking about how you’ll kiss him to be nice. You should probably consider the fact that dating is supposed to be fun.
You’ve thought about cheating on him
Have you thumbed through your contact list and thought about texting your old pal “George Not A Good Idea"? When you go to parties without your man, do you spend the night telling your friends which guy you would hit on if you were single? LOL. Just end it. Seriously. Do it now, before you have an actual reason to feel guilty.
Make a clean break, and you can go back to scoping strangers with a clean conscience.
You feel guilty accepting gifts or favors from him
This is not what he intended you to feel when he sent you that arrangement of flowers. If you feel uneasy every time does something sweet for you, then it’s probably because you have a bad taste in your mouth over this whole relationship. At this point, the biggest favor you can do is send him on his way.
You don’t see a future with him
He’s kind and respectful and hardworking and would make an amazing life partner ... for someone else. You don’t exactly have to be picking out wedding invitations to know that a relationship is going well, but dreaming about the future is a good indicator that you’re on the right track. If you avoid thinking about where you two will be in a few years, that’s your subsconcious telling you, “Seperate beds.”
You keep thinking about how bad the breakup will be
Ending things with him is going to suck. You’re going to hurt him. You might even see a grown man cry. The sooner you deal with that reality, the sooner you’ll be able to get that bummer of a job over with.
Yes, you’re going to feel like crap for a little while. Yes, he might hate you for a minute. Yes, this is the only respectable thing to do. Say your goodbyes. Order a pizza. Hope that the next nice guy you find smells a little bit less like sour cream.