By Brittney McKenna
If you're a woman and have ever stepped outside of your home for any reason ever, odds are you've been catcalled. Guys might not understand what that's like, but writer/actress Tess Paras came up with an amazing metaphor for how unwanted street harassment really is.
In "What If Catcalls Were Cheeseburgers?", Paras imagines a world where too many men think women always want a tasty cheeseburger, which leads to a lot of greasy problems. In the sketch, Paras and her female friends can't seem to go anywhere without a cheeseburger-toting dude trying to shove meat and buns into their hands. Would anyone constantly want that?
The answer (with some NSFW language) is a big, quarter-pound "no":
The offending guys use lines that should be all too familiar to any woman who has received such harassment: "Good afternoon. This is for you. Have a good day, alright?" "Hey, I would love it if strangers gave me cheeseburgers all the time!" "Got grade-A Kobe beef right here."
The cheeseburger creepers use the same old tricks, accusing Paras and her friends of not being "very nice," of "asking for it dressed like that" (because one woman is wearing a cheeseburger t-shirt) and, of course, of being a "bitch."
Paras shuts the dudes down, though, with an impassioned speech hinging on one very important point: "I don't exist on this planet just for your cheeseburgers."
The video adds a humorous perspective to a serious conversation. And while there are few things on earth better than an actual cheeseburger, this is one time when we think we'll say, "No thanks."