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8 Ways American Hogwarts Will Be Totally Different Than Regular Hogwarts

Accio ketchup!

Any "Harry Potter" fan worth his or her wizard's cape has been trolling the pond slime out of J.K. Rowling's Twitter page. Because she has been dishing out many galleons worth of behind-the-scenes goings on with "Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them" -- the latest of which is the news that there'll be a new, American Hogwarts. Well, sort of.

Over the weekend, in response to a Twitter question about "the name of the US school" in "Fantastic Beasts," Rowling replied that such "information will be revealed in due course" -- thereby confirming that such a place exists. Yay!

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Which then raised the issue of whether Newt Scamander himself -- the hero of her new wizarding series, who'll be portrayed by the "perfect" Eddie Redmayne -- was going to be loading up his potions book for a turn in the classroom. "No," clarified Rowling. "[B]ut he's going to meet people who were educated at [name] in [not New York]."

Then she took it one step further to drop some knowledge that this newfangled place of higher learning will definitely have some ties to Native American-Indian culture -- the "indigenous magic" of certain tribes, in particular -- but that the school name itself would be of "immigrant origin."

The takeaway we (and the rest of the internet) got from this was, look out little wizards and wizardettes, we're about to have our very own School of Witchcraft and Wizardry right here in the USA. 'Murica!

So for funzies, we tried to picture what such a place might be like, and the results are - erm - a little different than the proper society sights we got used to with the culture at Hogwarts.

  1. First of all, lunches will probably consist of cheeseburgers, pizza, and chicken nuggets.
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  2. And the students will have none of that uniform business - because NON-CONFORMITY, ya'll.
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  3. Oh, and the OWLs will be more like the SATs because standardized testing.
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  4. And you can forget about the Dark Arts and Flying Instruction classes because arts and recess aren't part of the curriculum anymore, k?
  5. The Quidditch kids would be a lawsuit just waiting to happen.
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  6. The kids'll have smartphones instead of wands.
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  7. There won't be any house points system because everybody gets a trophy.
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  8. Finally, all the teachers will probably be WAY underpaid.
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