'The Craft' Is Coming Back, And Here's Why We're Feeling Light As A Feather And Stiff As A Board

By the power of three, make us squee, make us squee.

Which of your favorite 1990s movies is getting the reboot treatment today? Well… how about the one about witches?

St. Benedict's Academy is reopening for business, as Sony has announced that they are remaking "The Craft." The Hollywood Reporter has the news, telling us that the new movie will be written and directed by Leigh Janiak, a relative newcomer who has directed an upcoming episode of "Scream," so she knows a thing or two about reproaching '90s horror.

The news of a new version of "The Craft" leaves us with, well, mixed emotions. On one hand…

  1. Perhaps now is the time…

    For Manon's magic to wash over a new generation of viewers.

  2. But WE are the weirdos!

    Nancy and her pack of outsiders spoke directly to we 90s kids who were having trouble fitting in with our peers. It's our message, children of the 2000s! Get your own!

  3. Maybe we're just jealous.

    Jealous? JEALOUS? Yeah, maybe a touch. Nobody likes when someone else plays with your toys, not just because they're your toys — but because they remind you that you're past the age where you even need toys anymore. So, let's agree to hand them off and see how the new era plays, okay?

  4. Make them see, make them see.

    If Sony's pushing forward with "The Craft," then the thing they need to get right above all else is casting. Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, Robin Tunney and Rachel True combined to form one of the most electric foursomes of the 90s, the perfect power quartet of the moment. Casting is key for these witches, and should represent a mixture of relative obscurity to some up-and-comers worthy of a breakout role.

  5. Who's gonna go play…

    Nancy? If there's one role that you can't just recast without really thinking it through, it's Fairuza Balk's big bad witch. The iconically creepy sorceress requires someone equally up for the challenge. Maybe this is where we can bring in someone a little more well known, like…

  6. 20th Century Fox
  7. SORRY!!!

    Sorry?? OH, WE'RE SORRY! You're irreplaceable, Fairuza. (But Jennifer Lawrence WOULD be pretty awesome as Nancy, should she want to play ball.)

  8. Relax…

    It's just magic, and more than that, it's just a reboot. What's the harm in giving Manon a new platform for a new generation? If the new take on "The Craft" doesn't work out, just ignore it ...

...and go back to worshipping at the altar of the original.