On Thursday night (May 14), "Scandal" viewers will finally get to see what happens when Olivia (Kerry Washington) and her band of heroes face off against Rowan Pope and his treacherous B613. (The episode's title, "You Can't Take Command," suggests that it might not go very well, but let's choose to ignore that for now.)
The episode will surely contain plenty of so-called "WTF moments" just like any self-respecting Shonda Rhimes season finale, but even if it doesn't, "Scandal" season four can hang its head high for all of the iconic, bats--t insane moments it's already brought to the table. From torture to kidnapping to yet even more torture, here are our 11 favorite moments from "Scandal" season four:
Cyrus beds (and marries!) a prostitute.
Okay, so maybe a person who works in politics soliciting a prostitute is no longer shocking, but it was pretty horrifying when, after a loving marriage that ended in the murder of his husband, Cyrus was forced to marry the prostitute. Especially when you remember that he had no idea that the trick was not into him, but in fact paid for by his enemies. Rough.
Quinn rips off Franklin's fingernail.ABC
We've dealt with so much "Scandal" insanity over recent years that sometimes it's easy to forget that Quinn Perkins was once a normal human being. Now she's the type of human being that drills into other human beings' kneecaps, but nothing quite compared to her flicking off Franklin's fingernail like it was a loose booger.
Huck tortures Ellen's wife.
Speaking of human beings who are monsters -- remember when Huck went all "Outlander" on Elizabeth North's back then threatened to murder her daughter?
Huck murders Lena Dunham.ABC
... Which still wasn't as bad as the time he murdered Suzanne Thomas to protect his own case against B613, which was inevitably ruined anyway?
Mellie wears UGGS.
We spent much of this first half of this "Scandal" season watching Hot Mess Mellie eat fried chicken at a graveyard wearing sweatpants and UGGS, talking about how she hadn't gotten around to waxing her vagina. Now, mere weeks later, she's running for senate. This show is insane, guys.
Fitz beats the s--t out of Jake.
Did Fitz really think that Jake murdered his son, or was he just pissed about the island? No one will ever truly know, but the prison cell beat down will still live in "Scandal" infamy forever.
Fitz's daughter has a sex tape.ABC
Of all the things you were expecting to see on "Scandal" this season, was Fitz and Mellie's teen daughter, Karen, doing an "Eiffel Tower" with two strange dudes on camera even close to making the list? No? Well, either way I'm glad that she did, because "Like Father, Like Daughter" was a season two-style blast.
Command sees you when you're sleeping, knows if you're awake.
We've seen Joe Morton do his intense Rowan Pope monologues a zillion times by now, but nothing could have prepared viewers for what went down in "The Last Supper." Olivia, Fitz, and Jake finally teaming up to nail the bad guy seemed to be going swimmingly, and for a hot second, I even believed that Rowan would be taken into custody, and maybe even held somewhat accountable for his actions before finding some sort of loophole that threw him back into the B613 fold.
However, he proved himself to be more god than man during his last supper with Olivia, during which she found out that not only did he know about the ambush, he was ready for it -- ready with a team of his own, which quickly took out the innocent members of the SWAT team who were sent to arrest him. Oh, and those oh-so-valuable B613 files that were ready to bring him down? Blank, motherf--ker. You just got Pope'd.
Jake gets stabbed multiple times.
As thrilled as I am that Jake is still on "Scandal," I will never, ever fully believe that he isn't a vampire after how brutal and 100 percent lethal those stab wounds were.
Huck butchers a room full of people.
Sure, Huck was "forced" to kill those drug dealers in order to win back Olivia (more on that in a second). But literally no one asked him to turn into a Freddie/Jason/Leatherface hybrid; mutilating their corpses and removing their freaking heads. And this is one of the heroes on this show!
Olivia gets kidnapped.
The fact that Liv was never actually being kept in a Middle Eastern country, and that a lot of what she saw during her first several days in that cell was fake, doesn't take away from the severe psychological torment that she (and viewers, by proxy) experienced in the terrific and bizarre episode "Run."
Rhimes and her "Scandal" crew reached deep into the hearts and minds of its liberal-minded Western viewers for "Run," putting our strong and capable heroine right smack in the middle of all of our worst nightmares. Safe to say, we'll never forget it.