It's spring, which means that women are starting to attack their winter-grown feminine fur coats with double-bladed razors and honey-suckled shaving creams. Or not, because shaving is by no means a necessity -- if you could care less about shaving, rock on, sister!
But if you've ever picked up a razor and shaving cream, you probably have a few ladyscaping horror stories from your past. Since the "Guy Code" fellas love to talk about manscaping, and since summer is right around the corner, I figured now is the perfect time to share a list of my own experiences so that hopefully you'll learn from my mistakes.
Shaving without cream (or soap)
Dry shaving is for the woman-on-the-go who can deal with a couple knicks and one hell of a leg sting. (If you can deal with the pain, this might be for you?) But if you're going to do it, I only recommend dry shaving on your legs -- anywhere else and you WILL regret it the next morning.
Tweezing "down there"Getty Images
I came across this picture of a lizard getting its teeth plucked out with tweezers; tweezing my lady region was, I'm assuming, equally painful. Blame it on a friend or maybe something I read in a magazine -- to this day, I still don’t know what possessed me to take a pair of tweezers to my nether regions freshman year of high school. I got about three hairs in before I traded in my tweezers for an icepack.
Shaving my entire body, even where it made no sense
I was in junior high when this girl took one look at my hairy legs in gym and told me I needed to shave. She said she shaved her whole body and that I should, too. So I went home, stole one of my mom's razors and shaved everything -- including my belly, which had maybe two or three hairs on it at the time.
You know how people tell you that, once you start shaving something, the hair grows back quicker and thicker? It's not true, but I wish someone had whispered that in my ear when this girl was giving me tips on how to be a naked mole rat.
Hair removal creams BURN
After years and years of hearing how Nair had burned my friends, I decided to test it out for myself. Guess what I found out? Yes, it burns!
Sure, it got me as smooth as a baby’s bottom, but it came at the cost of feeling like I had a bunch of fire ants in my pants. I decided that Nair, even with its successful results, was not for me.
See you later, eyebrows
After the trauma of trying to pluck my lady bits with a tweezer, I vowed to never use one again. But I was curious to see what my eyebrows would look like with more arch, darling! So what did I do? I grabbed a shaving stick and started shaving away. Turns out that shaving sticks are even more unpredictable than razors are. In the end, let's just say one eyebrow ended up having more arch than the other.
My butt ... with, yep, a razor