Tom Brady Is The Greatest (Cheater) Of All Time?

Cheaters never prosper. That’s what your parents always said and it pretty much holds true… unless you’re superstar QB Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. According to the results of a 243-page investigation into “Deflategate” – it is “more probable than not” that the NFL’s Patriots purposely tried to break league rules by underinflating footballs in this year’s AFC Championship game to give Brady an edge in the rainy conditions and that Brady was somewhat aware of those efforts. Adding fuel were some damning texts between Patriots locker room attendant Jim McNally and equipment assistant John Jastremski, in which the latter says at one point, “Talked to him [Brady] last night. He actually brought you up and said you must have a lot of stress trying to get them done.” Brady, a three-time Super Bowl MVP, initially said he knew nothing about the balls and is still considered one of the greatest QB’s of all time. Except now his stellar stats will always have an asterisk next to them. Always.

Marshall RB Sacked After Punching Same-Sex Couple

Sticking with football and inappropriate behavior for a second, we turn to the story of Marshall University running back Steward Butler, 23, who was dismissed from the team on Wednesday after his arrest on accusations that he assaulted a same-sex couple on Monday. The victims told police Butler stepped out of his car on April 9 after seeing the two men kiss, shouted derogatory words at them and then struck each in the face. The FBI may be called in to review the case for possible civil rights violations. According to the Anti-Violence Project, at least four similar assaults on gay men and transgender women have taken place over the past month in New York alone.

Nebraska Woman Sues Gay People… All Of Them

Speaking of anti-gay violence, Nebraska’s Syliva Ann Driskell, 66, who identifies herself as an ambassador for God and Jesus Christ, has filed the mother of all federal actions. The handwritten federal lawsuit riddled with typos was filed against against all homosexual people on the planet for breaking “religious and moral laws.” She cites bible verses she says show that “homosexuality is a sin and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in the closet?” A number of high-profile gay writers took the news in stride, joking that they were going to immediately switch sides because of Driskill's considered, morally airtight argument.