When it comes to flirtation, women are often known for speaking in code. As blogger Holly Carpenter pointed out in her recent viral post, "What She’s Really Saying On Snapchat," the failure to realize when it’s happening -- especially through messaging apps -- can cause problems.
Not to worry, your girl Holly has got you covered with her clever translating services. MTV News recently sat down with Carpenter, who expertly broke down the gap between what we say and what we mean in our snaps ... and shed light on the complicated code of conduct that comes with snapping, flirting and potentially dating.
MTV: On a scale of 1 to 10, how good do you think guys are at reading between the lines on Snapchat?
Holly Carpenter: I’d give them a five, because they seem to only get it 50% of the time. I think they’re slightly more clued in than I gave them credit for. They may notice how great a girl’s cleavage will look, but they may not realize that that’s exactly what she wanted them to see.
MTV: Was there any one incident (or a few) that made you think, "Guys need this guide"?
Carpenter: I was looking in on some innocent snaps being exchanged between my male friend and a girl, and he had no idea that she was being flirty. I tried explaining it to him, but he was convinced he’d been “friend-zoned.”
MTV: Did doing this change how you snap guys you're interested in?
Carpenter: I was a bit wary to do it at first, because I know a couple of guys who’ll recognize some of those moves. If I was talking to someone face-to-face I would always be clear, but with something like Snapchat, you need to keep the flirty banter going;otherwise you’ll be staring at an empty red arrow, cringing.
MTV: What do girls get out of being coy on Snapchat?
Carpenter: I think it gives girls a good chance to test the waters before letting [guys] know you’re interested. But I think guys are afraid of being too straightforward too, so sometimes being coy gets you nowhere.
MTV: What is the biggest mistake a guy can make with girls on Snapchat?
Carpenter: Being too forward out of nowhere, aka the surprise d--k pic. I don’t know any girls who appreciate getting a close-up snap of a guy’s privates out of nowhere. It just makes guys come across as really sleazy, and the girl will automatically assume that he’s sent it to at least three other girls as well.
MTV: Do you think guys snap in code the same way that girls do?
Carpenter: I think guys can be just as guilty when it comes to sending out the odd tactical snap. There’s a few “typical guy” snaps I’ve seen before, like the “gym selfie” usually taken in the full-length mirror of a gym, or the “farmer's tan” snap of their arm that just happens to be really muscular.
MTV: What other random advice do you have about flirting on Snapchat?
Carpenter: Be wary of the screenshot! We’ve all heard horror stories about a screenshot being passed around and ruining someone’s reputation. I’d be too afraid of sending nudes for exactly that reason, but if you are considering it, ask yourself if you trust the person.
Also, people need to be able take the hint on Snapchat, like in real life. If you’re always the snapper and never the snappee, then maybe they’re just not that into you.