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If Meek Mill Really Proposed To Nicki Minaj, We Hope It Went Like This

We don't actually know what happened, so we wrote our own version.

"I love her," Meek Mill said in the confident tone he delivers his raps in. "I know she's the one."

As he thought about her, he flashed that smile that had won her heart in the first place.

"Well, it's time to boss up, then," Rick Ross growled, thick smoke billowing out of his mouth as he gently ashed his blunt.

Meek knew Rozay was right. He had known this for some time -- months, even -- yet it was a step he never thought he'd take. But he was finally ready. And so he opened his Louis Vuitton duffle bag and threw in the stacks of hundreds of thousands of dollars, in $100 bills that he and Ricky had just been using as chairs and pretend cell phones while their real ones were charging in the other room of the Miami mansion. It was go time.

The next morning, Meek rose with the sun, eager to prepare for that big day, which he knew was coming soon. He had to get everything in order first, though. Elements of the day had been playing in his head since he first saw the Beam Me Up Scotty mixtape cover, but now he was actually going to do it: It was time to ask Nicki Minaj to marry him.

He strolled down South Beach, the ocean at his side and the wind at his back, as he brainstormed about how to propose. Suddenly, he heard a shout: "Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy a heart?"

It was coming from a salesman at a nearby jewelry store, screaming at all passersby. The Philly rapper wasn't about to go to any old jewelry store for the engagement ring for his baby, but he was struck with two bolts of inspiration: First; he would buy her a huge, customized, heart-shaped, diamond-studded engagement ring; and second, he would drop a hint about the shape of the ring in a song he was getting ready to record for Nicki's album -- and he'd call it "Buy A Heart" (Meek has always been one for directness).

The next week, he had the ring specially made by his longtime jeweler. For now, he would hold onto it, until the time was right -- but he knew that perfect day was fast-approaching: The date nights were legendary; the Instagram photo shoots were sexy; their impeccable musical chemistry was topped only by their emotional and sexual chemistry.

When Meek joined Nicki in Europe, the romance only intensified. The Parisian nights they shared were some of the best of their lives -- wine, crackers, hour-long freestyle sessions and non-stop laughs. Meek almost popped the question there, but he knew he wanted to wait until they were surrounded by family and friends.

When they returned Stateside, the power couple retreated to Miami. It was perfect for Meek, since that's where he had been planning for the big day all along.

After a day that was even more glorious than their typical time together, Meek and Nicki prepared to head to dinner. When they arrived at the pop-up restaurant right on the beach that Meek had commissioned, everyone was already there: Both of the rappers' families, plus Lil Wayne, Drake, Tyga, Birdman, Ross, Wale, DJ Khaled, and plenty more. And they were all getting along. This day was not about them, after all. It was about the two lovebirds.

Nicki was finishing her first course when Meek casually got up and walked out of the large tented area. Not more than a minute later, he returned, this time perched on his motorbike, engine revving even as he pulled up next to Nicki. He flung the bike to a 12 o'clock position, so it sat perpendicular to the ground; it was his safe place, somewhere that he found himself the most comfortable.

"I'm glad y'all came out here tonight," he began. "As I sit here among friends, peers and loved ones, I couldn't find a better setting to say what I'm about to say: Nicki Minaj, I love you with all my heart."

Nicki smiled. The room began to clap.

"HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE, Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS FINISHED?!" Meek screamed. "When I bought that Aston Martin y'all thought it was rented?"

"Well, it wasn't. And neither is this."

He whipped out the heart-shaped engagement ring, still idling on his bike, which still sat at 12 o'clock.

"Nicki, make me the luckiest man in the world. Marry me?"

"Meek, I'mma let you finish, but DJ Khaled had the best Nicki Minaj wedding proposal of ALL TIME," Kanye West said, standing atop one of the tables, after apparently appearing out of thin air, since he hadn't been there all night.

Khaled agreed. "WE THE BEST," he proclaimed, before returning the focus to his plate.

"YES," Nicki shrieked, as if the entire interruption hadn't even happened.

"Omeeka forever," Meek said, raising his glass to the sky.

"Omeeka forever!" the crowd rejoiced, though one voice seemed to be missing from the cheers.

Drake stared blankly at the floor, wondering where he had gone wrong.


VMAs 2017