Cyrus Farivar

Why Is Sabrina The Teenage Witch Following EVERYONE On Twitter?

Explain it, Clarissa. Explain it all.

I have to say, my childhood self had a little fit when Melissa Joan Hart -- a.k.a. Sabrina The Teenage Witch -- followed me on Twitter the other week. I thought I was special. I thought I was the chosen one. I thought I had MADE IT. Until I realized... She's been following a LOT of people of late.

My realization of this curious trend started on Facebook, when I noticed that I wasn't the only who had shared something similar to the below:

A search for "Sabrina the Teenage Witch followed me" on Twitter yielded similar bounty:

These people are very stoked...

These people were more into 'Clarissa'...

You guys, why is this happening? What qualities do we, the CHOSEN ONES, possess that others lack? I mean, at one point she was following people who like football or something but I know nothing about football except that it happens when it's cold out.

Please, someone explain this to me... Preferably Clarissa.