Maybe you read that Natalia Kills and husband Willy Moon were fired from "The X Factor" New Zealand after some comments they made to a contestant. But maybe your tender, American brain couldn't process all those international words at once. That's OK. I'm here to help. Here's everything you need to know about this news item.
First of all, who is Natalia Kills?
Natalia Kills is the stage name of British singer Natalia Noemi Cappuccini-Sinclair. She has released two studio albums thus far, 2011's Perfectionist and 2013's Trouble, and she recently contributed the track "Holy Water" to Madonna's Rebel Heart.
She's not exactly a household name in the States, but just trust me when I say that you've heard her song "Problem" before. I swear that track was in, like, every commercial and movie trailer for a couple of months last year.
She and her husband, fellow musician Willy Moon, signed on to judge series 2 of "The X Factor" New Zealand, and...
Back up. Who is Willy Moon?
Willy Moon, a.k.a. Willy George Sinclair, is a singer-songwriter from New Zealand. His debut album, Here's Willy Moon, dropped in 2013. The LP contains his biggest hit to date, the Wu-Tang Clan-sampling "Yeah Yeah."
Like I said, he and wife Natalia Kills signed on to judge series 2 of "The X Factor" New Zealand, and...
Wait, what is "The X Factor" New Zealand?
It's, like, "The X Factor." But in New Zealand. Keep up.
Fine. So, what did Natalia and Willy do on "The X Factor" that was so bad?
During the first live show on Sunday (Mar. 15), Natalia accused contestant Joe Irvine of being a "döppelganger" of her husband. She claimed his alleged mimicry was so "disgusting" that she was "ashamed" to be there.
"As an artist who respects creative integrity and intellectual property, I am disgusted at how much you have copied my husband," she said. "From the hair to the suit, do you not have any value or respect for originality? You're a laughing stock. It's cheesy, it's disgusting -- I personally found it absolutely artistically atrocious."
Hold up. Did Willy Moon invent suits?
Wait, I mean No.
But that didn't stop him from continuing Natalia's less-than-constructive critique: "To me, it just feels a little bit cheap and absurd. It's like Norman Bates [the killer from 'Psycho'] dressing up in his mother's clothing. It's just a little bit creepy, and I feel like you're going to stitch someone's skin to your face and then kill everyone in the audience."
Stitch someone's skin to your face and then kill everyone? Even Simon Cowell would be like...
Is that why they got fired from "The X Factor"?
Yep. MediaWorks CEO Mark Weldon, who basically runs New Zealand's TV3, said: "We no longer have confidence that Kills and Moon are the right people to perform the role of 'The X Factor' judges, and they will leave the show, effective immediately."
The decision came after much public outcry on Twitter and a Change.org petition urging TV3 to "Take Natalia Kills Off 'X Factor.'"
Kills and Moon were also on the receiving end of a (now deleted) subtweet from Ellie Goulding...
...and a straight-up calling out from Bastille's Dan Smith.
On the positive side, Ed Sheeran used his Twitter reach to send some support to Joe Irvine, the "X Factor" contestant caught in the middle of this fracas.
And Lorde allegedly bypassed social media altogether, sending Joe a box of cupcakes and a handwritten note urging him to stay true to himself.
So... The moral of the story is cupcakes make everything better?
Now, let's go home and never speak of this again.