14 Reasons Why Dating Sucks On 'The Walking Dead'

Zombies are huge on PDA.

The worst thing about being trapped in a world full of reeking, walking corpses -- apart from the constant threat of death, of course -- is that finding that special someone to survive with just got a whole lot harder.

Although certain characters on "The Walking Dead" have beat the odds and found true love (we're looking at you, Glenn and Maggie), the fact is, the zombie apocalypse is pretty much the worst place to date, ever. From bad breath to scant privacy to the part where "til death do us part" tends to come sooner rather than later, here are 14 reasons why you might be better off living forever alone in zombieland.

  1. Natural selection may have completely eradicated your preferred dating pool from the planet (especially if you liked soft, helpless, indoorsy types like poor Patrick, here.)
  2. At the same time, thanks to natural selection, the world now contains an even larger proportion than usual of... how to put this?... total frikkin' a-holes.
  3. Or, worse, sadistic creeps who like to sexually assault people with lollipops.
  4. Meanwhile, the few remaining good ones have serious emotional baggage.
  5. Grooming ain't what it used to be.
    via bedbugsbiting.tumblr.com
  6. And we hope you like it funky, because oral hygiene isn't exactly a priority anymore.
  7. Oh, and when you do meet a nice, clean, handsome guy who wants to take you on a real date? More likely than not he's a sociopath with an aquarium full of severed heads hidden in a closet.
  8. Meanwhile, good luck finding a place to get it on that's both comfortable and zombie-free.
  9. ...Or finding one square inch of your beloved's face to smooch that isn't coated in human viscera.
  10. And since the Pill is probably hard to come by, you're pretty much stuck with barrier methods of birth control.
  11. Unless you want to go ahead and risk a pregnancy, but, um, we wouldn't, for obvious reasons.
  12. Also, even if you meet someone you really like, you probably shouldn't get too attached to him.
  13. It's only gonna be a matter of time before he's zombie chow... or human hamburger.
  14. That is, unless you really just long for a relationship based on the quiet companionship of long walks through the woods, and long nights by the campfire, toting your beloved's undead head in a burlap sack. In which case, you do you, girl.