With season 5 of "Game of Thrones" about to begin, we've been making the most of our parents' HBO Go login by re-watching the first four seasons as many times as it takes to remember the massive web of characters and storylines.
Somewhere around re-watch number seven, our medieval fantasy-fried brains realized all those distinctive characters make "Game of Thrones" the mall of American television. Hear us out. First of all, they're both massive, self-contained worlds with something for everyone.
And you know those people who work at a mall store just for the 20% discount? The ones you see and think, "Wow, that person is SO Hot Topic!" Pretty much every character on the show has a mall store they'd totally work at for the discount swag.
Here are the retailers where we envision our favorite "GoT" characters spending their 9 to 5:
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Jon Snow - The North Face
HBO/Charlie Kasov -
Sansa Stark - American Apparel
HBO/Kris Cardenas/Flickr -
Varys - The Apple Store
HBO/Getty Images -
Catelyn Stark - Ann Taylor
HBO/Getty Images -
"Khaleesi" Daenerys Targaryen - Hot Topic
HBO/MarkScottAustinTX/Flickr -
Prince Joffrey - Abercrombie & Fitch
HBO/Getty Images -
Tommen Baratheon - American Eagle
HBO/Stab At Sleep/Flickr -
Khal Drogo - PacSun
HBO/Charlie Kasov -
Robb Stark - Hollister
HBO/Getty Images -
Hodor - Build-A-Bear
HBO/Walter Lim/Flickr -
Cersei Lannister - Victoria's Secret
HBO/Getty Images -
Jamie "Kingslayer" Lannister - Guitar Center
HBO/Alex Gorzen/Flickr -
Peter "Littlefinger" Baelish - Armani Exchange
HBO/Getty Images -
Brienne of Tarth - Lululemon
HBO/WestportWiki -
Margaery Tyrell - Forever 21
HBO/TofuProd/Flickr -
Samwell Tarly - Barnes & Noble
HBO/Amantio di Nicolao -
Tyrion Lannister - Spencer's Gifts
HBO/Ildar Sagdejev -
Arya Stark - Goodwill
HBO/RustyClark/Flickr -
Tywin Lannister - Ralph Lauren
HBO/Joseph De Palma/Flickr -
The Mountain - GNC
HBO/Getty Images -
Ramsay Bolton - The Art Of Shaving
HBO/goatling/Flickr -
Shae - Food Court Free Samples
HBO/Ryan Lackey/Flickr -
Ned Stark - L.L. Bean
HBO/Mike Mozart/Flickr -
Stannis Baratheon - Banana Republic
HBO/Getty Images -
Melisandre - Teavana
HBO/Bob Hall/Flickr -
Bronn the Sellsword - Under Armour
HBO/Charlie Kasov -
Aemon Targaryen - Yankee Candle
HBO/Luigi Novi -
The Hound - Mall Security
HBO/Getty Images -
Robert Baratheon - Applebee's
HBO/Robert Stern/Flickr
