'The Walking Dead' Is A Terrible Place To Be A Horse

Poor Buttons.

Last night, "The Walking Dead" said goodbye to a beloved character -- a character whose goodness of heart and purity of spirit was clear to all who knew him, even though, admittedly, we didn't know him for very long.

RIP, Buttons the Horse.

Buttons was introduced in the episode's first act, only to be cruelly disemboweled by zombies in the third, in a scene that would have been devastating if it weren't also completely predictable. Because, let's just be honest, "The Walking Dead" is pretty much the worst place ever to be a horse.

Just look at the fate of literally every horse ever to have been on this show if you don't believe us.

  1. Rick's Horse: Disemboweled by zombies
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    Rick lured this poor horse to the big city with promises of fame, fortune, and Varsity hot dogs, only to abandon him to a grisly death at the hands of a horde of walkers while Rick himself took shelter in a military tank. He didn't even try to fit the horse into the tank. Terrible.

  2. Michonne's horse: Also disemboweled by zombies
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    Despite being ridden by one of the most badass badasses ever to grace the series, Michonne's horse apparently didn't inherit her survival skills. After the fall of the prison, we see poor horsie lying in the field where he (or she) was taken down by the undead.

  3. This horse: Insulted and ignored
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    Not only was this pale horse literally saddled with the world's clunkiest metaphor -- the man that sat upon him was death, eh? Get it? Get? It?! -- but his scene was ultimately cut from the episode entirely, which is just rude.

  4. Buttons the Horse: Disemboweled by zombies after having been cruelly convinced to trust again
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    The terrible irony of Buttons' death is that if Daryl Dixon hadn't turned up, whispering sweet nothings in his horse ears, telling him to just stand there and keep eating, he might still be alive.

  5. The Greene Family horses: Probably embarrassed to death
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    Of all the horses ever to appear on "The Walking Dead," these are the only two who might conceivably still be alive -- but on the other hand, they were also forced to witness Glenn's awkward early attempts to flirt with Maggie. Which is better than being eaten alive by zombies, but... only slightly.