They say that if you give a bunch of monkeys typewriters, they will eventually produce Shakespeare. Well, the same could basically be said of journalists and pop stars, smartphones and cat photos. What am I rambling on about? To put it plainly: Taylor Swift... you, um, kind of copied me.
Thursday, late afternoon, Swift posted the below tweet. Pretty adorable right? The Beyoncé reference. The cute cat. All on point. Solid tweet. Really solid.
Except for the fact that, I don't know, I posted a very similar photo with basically the same caption HOURS beforehand (in the actual morning time).
The only difference, really, is that I do not wake up looking anything like Taylor Swift and my kitty is a scrappy ex-bodega cat named Edie who likes to feast on my flesh -- not a fancy little ball of fur who likely does not know the taste of mortal blood.
I understand, Taylor, if this was a coincidence. Just the other day, I thought I had written a wholly original song -- it was really awesome -- only to realize that it was just basically "Pretty Vacant," by the Sex Pistols. So I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm the Sex Pistols of Instagram. No... wait...
It would also be totally cool if you were just Taylurking on my Insta and cribbed the idea because you found it as hilarious as I originally intended it. That would be rad, too. We could totally go to pet adoption days in Williamsburg and take even MORE photos of cats with hilarious pop culture-savvy captions.
Still, lady, the timing was uncanny. But I'm aware that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy. Wait -- does that count as a monkey typing Shakespeare?