You studied for the test. You finally learned how to parallel park. You even bought one of those air fresheners for your rearview mirror. Tonight on "Guy Code," the cast is talking about getting your license, and you’re so close to that freedom that the anticipation is driving you crazy.
There's no question that getting your license opens up a whole new world of independence, shenanigans and fourth meals, but you may be surprised to learn that there are some downsides to being handed the keys to your drivable kingdom. Enjoy these perks of being license-free, because they’ll be gone faster than you can floor it on a back country road.
Knowing whether people love you or just love your car
If you’re among the first of your friends to get your license, chances are you’re also about to be among the most popular. For a very brief period of time, you’ll enjoy carting your buddies around, but after a couple of weeks of acting as your group’s carpool dad, you’ll realize that you couldn’t be more used if you were the very dilapidated vehicle you’re driving.
Not watching your paycheck get chugged by your gas tank
The ability to drive means the ability to do whatever you want whenever you want ... as soon as you’ve clocked in enough hours at work to keep your hungry gas tank happy. That fuel gauge is a demanding beast, and soon, you’ll be watching all of your beloved pizza and video game money literally evaporate as you pour it into your car.
On the upshot, you’ll finally understand why they talk about gas prices in the news so much.
Never having your day ruined by a parking ticket
Getting a parking ticket is like the world’s worst surprise party, and you’re the only guest. From the moment you first stumble upon that accursed ticket to the pity party that is having to shell out $60 for forgetting when street cleaning was, you’ll yearn for a simpler time when you wasted money on your terms.
Asking for rides from your friend, who then has to be the responsible one
You don't like depending on them, but at the same time, when they're driving it's not your responsibility to obey the speed limit and remember where you parked. (If it makes you feel better, when you're soon driving your unlicensed friends around, they'll remain blissfully unaware of these burdens and will thus be relatively ungrateful for your efforts.)
Your parents being chill when you go out at night
The good news is, you’ll feel like a real adult now that you don’t have to bum rides from your ‘rentals. The bad news? You’re totally still your parents’ precious baby and the second you pull out of the driveway, a nonstop montage of every possible horrible scenario that can occur begins to play in their minds. You’re not just losing your dependence on them; you’re gaining the chance to be ripped a new butthole if you’re even two minutes past curfew.
Being able to check your phone constantly while en route
Traffic is a lot less stressful when you can kill time watching YouTube videos and faving that cutie’s Instagram pics, which is why people sitting shotgun don't suffer from road rage. In many states, it’s illegal to use your phone at all while driving, and soon, you’ll be suffering from phone withdrawal in painful 20-minute increments as you’re forced to let your own boring thoughts keep you occupied.
Only having to clean your bedroom
If you thought that mountain of crusted condiment plates and smelly boxers was a pain in the ass to clean up, just wait until you have your very own car to pack to the gills with your filth. Not only will you soon be stewing in mounds of old fast food cups and sweaty gym clothes, your buddies and constant passengers will also be stricken with the realization that there is no sense walking five feet to throw away trash when they can easily just add it to the rancid miniature biosphere that’s growing on your floor mats.
The important thing is, though, it will be your rancid biosphere.
Tune into MTV2’s "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10C