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Here's Why Losing At The Academy Awards Is Actually Pretty Awesome

Can you say swag bag?

There can only be one winner for each category at the 87th annual Academy Awards -- at least, that’s what we all assumed.

Turns out, the losers aren’t necessarily losers because all of the acting and directing nominees walk away with one helluva consolation prize: a $150,000 gift bag.

That’s right, according to Page Six, a company called Distinctive Assets hands out high-dollar swag bags with things like a year’s worth of Audi rentals ($20,000), a Rocky Mountaineer luxury rail trip through the Canadian Rockies ($14,584), a Ventura Lipo-Light liposuction and fat reduction package ($4,068) and, get this, a “Couple’s Love Shot” ($5,000) from Dr. Charles Runels.

What’s that, you ask? The prize package holder can opt for an “orgasm shot” meant to improve a woman’s sex life or a penis-rejuvenation injection that supposedly improves a man’s size. Alright then.

Other notable items in the swag bag include:

• $249.99 Haze vaporizer

• $800 Customized candy and dessert buffet from Candy Vixen

• $1,500 Three-night stay at Villa Armena in Tuscany

• $1,000 Broken Bones bicycle

• $20,000 Session with the founder of Enigma Life, Olessia Kantor, to discuss the nominee’s “2015 horoscope, analyze dreams and teach them mind-control techniques”

• $280 Rouge maple syrup package

And that's far from all. We never thought we'd dream of losing an Oscar, but here we are.