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Montana Lawmaker Wants To Outlaw Male Nipples And Yoga Pants In Public

Cover up, boys.

Montana has had it up to here with indecent male nipples poisoning the minds of their youth. A legislator in the Big Sky State has proposed an expansion to the state’s indecent exposure law that would ban both male and female nipple exposure, in addition to banning clothes that “give the appearance or simulate” buttocks, genitals, pelvic areas or nipples.

After a group of naked cyclists terrorized the town of Missoula, Republican Representative David Moore proposed the bill. In comments after the House Judiciary committee, he made clear that other kinds of clothes also would not pass muster:

"Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway," Moore said.

He added that he believes men wearing Speedo swimsuits in public should be arrested.

"I want Montana to be known as a decent state where people can live within the security of laws and protect their children and associates from degrading and indecent practices," Hill said. "I believe this bill is written preserving that reputation."

In an interview with the Associated Press, Moore said that law enforcement should use their discretion about whom to arrest.

So what happens if you get caught shocking young minds with nipples or yoga outfits?

A first-time offense for indecent exposure in Montana will earn you a fine up to $500 and six months in jail, while a second offense costs you $1,000 or one year in jail.

A third time offender in Montana, under the current law, can receive up to life in jail and a $10,000 fine. Yes, life in jail for yoga pants is a possible new reality in America.