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There's A Glaring Problem With Beyonce's Vegan Food Delivery Service

It's so important. Why is no one talking about this?

Maybe you've heard that Beyoncé has teamed up with 22 Days Nutrition to promote a new vegan meals delivery service.

Interested parties can sign up for one, two, or three 100% plant-based, non-GMO, gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free meals a day delivered straight to their door. This 22-day diet mirrors one that the "7/11" singer tried with her husband, Jay Z, back in 2013.

If you are what you eat and you're eating "the Beyoncé diet," then this meal plan's big selling point is that you will effectively "become" Beyoncé by the end of it -- and therein lies the problem.


The thing about Beyoncé is that she's Beyoncé. You're not Beyoncé, I'm not Beyoncé -- only Beyoncé is Beyoncé.

If any of us were to become Beyoncé, it would violate all manner of quantum physics and critical Beyoncé theory, slowly unraveling the (surely Tina Knowles-stitched) fabric of the universe itself.

If everyone is Beyoncé, then no one is Beyoncé -- not even Beyoncé herself. And if no one is Beyoncé, then what's the point of living. Cue end times.

So, keep that in mind if you're still interested in signing up for 22 Days Nutrition's delivery service. The fate of the universe literally rests on your shoulders.